I have being DB'ing for only a little while, Jan 7th I moved out. Started reading DR, and pulled back as much as I could with 2 backslides that led to him saying "NO, we are not getting back together,... but, who knows about the future, I am not against it". That was Feb 4th. But he has mentioned throughout all this that he was never against considering it again in the future.
On March 3, an argument/convo led to him admitting that he was lonely for me. We worked together the next day and I brought up a rel'p convo, suggesting that we could work on the positive/good stuff and go slow. He seemed to like this idea, as he nodded in agreement. He said that he still wanted to do good things to make me happy. He wondered if I was on my best behaviour, as he was nervous. The next day, I still wasn't sure if I was hearing what I wanted to hear or if he was starting to agree it was time to work on us. 2 days ago, I brought it up again, asked if we were on the path to working on it and again I asked today... I asked if we were working on us he said yes, but it was not his focus, our business is. It is now our busy business season (we are partners) & he wants to focuse on the business & "make hay while the sun shines". I said that I agreed but that if we didnt put any focus on our rel'p, there wouldn't be one, he agreed.
One thing to know about him is that he would be saying a "BIG NO" and shouting it by now, if he wasn't interested in what I was suggesting (as he did in the past).
Is this how piecing starts? I realize none of this is coming out of his mouth, and it is me "leading" and driving the convo's. I very much want to see/hear actions/words from him on this.
I realize I need some duct tape & patience. What else?
Did anyone else here have this kind of "start"?
TX! waitingformagic
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
No, we've already explained why in your other thread. You're engaging in wishful thinking. I feel for you, I really do. I've been there as well, looking for reconciliation in every little crumb W threw my way. But you've got to quit the wishful thinking, accept your reality, roll up your sleeves and dig into the very hard work of DB'ing. There are no shortcuts.
