well its almost a year since bd and i haven,t heard much in the last couple of months. as it stands our s still wont talk to her and our d,s dont talk to me. on the bright side our grandaughter is doing great and i got a new harley! lol. its great to have my son and baby living with me and were getting a new house next week. i guess i pushed her away with my anger but i could,nt/would,nt be disrespected by someone i gave so much to. we broke up years ago for a while and she found a loser to run to and guess where she is now? at 45 and living with parents with no job well i guess that qualifies. she must really hate herself. whatever the case is she got caught cheating and has to live with that.
do they ever get over the guilt and shame for the mess they have created? i want to let her know that i still care about her but i,m not sure if i should reach out or just wait and see if she does. i,m in a pretty good place but what i,m finding out that i,m not ready for anyone else because i keep finding train wrecks that i,m not comfortable being around.
i cant say ive db,ed very well because i tried to point out the wreck she was making. after a while i just got angry and told her she could have the lowlifes and one day she would wake up as some pos,s whore and be stuck there! i know i know. so thats when i took the advice and started nc and gal. i have my own anger issues i guess but as all the vets say i could have been perfect and this would have still happened! s#%#t! lol. has anyone heard, how can you miss something you never enjoyed and people need to feel it and be shown it. people cant go through life feeling empty! this from the person that a year ago said ily at least once a day! confused?
yea i,m currently seeing a therapist, but ive decided i couldnt bury my head and i,m not the type to hide my feelings. it was to hard for me to look in the mirror and bite my tongue. if she doesnt try to own her stuff at some point then how can you ever trust her?
"but ive decided i couldnt bury my head and i,m not the type to hide my feelings."
That's where you're wrong. No one said you had to "hide your feelings", HOWEVER, that can easily come out as you being more superior that others. When you feel that YOUR way is the RIGHT way, no one wants to be around that.
"it was to hard for me to look in the mirror and bite my tongue."
Well that's your issue.
"if she doesnt try to own her stuff at some point then how can you ever trust her?"
You see, you don't understand how she works. Rather than being compassionate and sympathetic to what she is going through, you are isolating her. I have a feeling that you may have criticized the way she did things in the past, or did so without knowing, and "expected" many things of her and that if she did not meet those expectations, you would say something about it. But all that does is massage your own ego and doesn't take into account how she feels.
The fact that you're still holding on to her apologizing says that. And I have a feeling that she's afraid that if she came back, you would forever hold it over her.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
thank you for the reply, it does give a different perspective. she did something like this when we were married before and thats why we divorced the first time! we were apart about 6 years and i thought when we got back together she had figured out her stuff but i was wrong. the thing that made me snap was the lies and gaslighting our adult children.
mr bond, i,m trying to deal with my issues and become a better man. the advice i get from most of my friends is the same ole line, forget her she,s not worth it! but in my heart i know there is a great person in her. we were best friends and did everything together for the last 15 years.we had a text exchange yesterday and on one hand she was saying her life was great and on the other hand telling me she doesnt want to speak to our son ever again. i asked her why becuase he wont go along with your lies? this would be easier if i just moved on but i still have some hope we could start new.
