Here's my story. Feedback is welcomed

[Jeack]

I've been married to my wife since June 4 2011. 6 months later 3 days before Thanksgiving she asked me to leave and asked for a divorce. i obliged and filed for divorce after I begged pleaded and then began the last resort technique. We reconciled right around Christmas and I moved back in sometime in February. I was just happy to be back but our issues were never resolved. Which brings me to October of 2012 once again my wife was going to leave. She said that she needed to work on herself and figure out what makes her happy and she couldn't do it while living with me because she becomes to comfortable. She has this issue where she cuts people off and doesn't feel pain or sadness.

Which now brings me to my current separation, with once again her asking for a divorce and saying she is certain this time. Everytime we separate she blames the issues on me. In 2011 it was because I drank to much, So i decided to do AA. After being clean for 7 months she said I was boring and we should go get a drink. Now this time I'm emotionally abusive. I will admit after doing reading on the topic I do have a tendancy to fit the script. I'm also passive aggressive.

My wife grew up in a very different manner than I did. Her father was killed at a very young age. And then her mother was with a very abusive man (so she says never really knew him) who neglected her and her brother to always take the mans side. After some counseling on her part before we meet and during past marriage counseling. comes to find out that her mother treats my wife as if a best friend rather than Mother some term called "covest incest"

I have 2 children from a previous marriage to which my wife was fantastic with until about the time we got married. It would get to the point where I felt like she look at my kids like they were aliens.

I bought a house for us to live in which we moved into june of 2012. The house could only go in my name due to her poor credit score. She has student loan debt in excess of 100K with out a degree or anything. Basically her entire pay check goes to paying off debt. So in a nut shell My wife never finishes anything she starts including our marriage. I have some resent the way she has treated me and my kids, But yet can never let go because i do truly love her.

She has made no talk of reconciling and only when pushed for answers wants a divorce. I'm going dark now. Told her to get own car insurance and to cancel joint account. I feel bad cause I know her financial situation but feel i should be walked over and that those extra things i paid for were perks of being married.

Just very confused why I still want to fix this marriage and if I should just file for D again and see if she actually signs the papers this time. Any advice would be great.

[Jeack]

Well she must have drove by my house Saturday night cause she seen a strange car in my driveway. When really I meet up with a friend from work and the guy got drunk so I drove his car back to my house and had my brother drive my car back. She called and texted at 230 in the morning. I was asleep so I texted back to check on her. And she said she couldn't sleep and wanted to come over and get in bed. All I said was that she could have and then she said she didn't know who was there. All I said was your always welcome here no matter who's here. Now she's calling and texting me goodnight. Trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to. Apparently here mom is getting on her nerves. Just want her to come back cause of me not cause the mom is driving her crazy. I hope someone reads this and can give some advice. I want to ask her to come stay over a night but don't want to push her.

[Cadet]

Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.
USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon

[Jeack]

Well she came around over the weekend. Saying she doesn't like sleeping alone and saying her mom is driving her crazy. Then 2 days later said she just wants to be friends. I know that sections DB state about being friends. But I can't handle being friends. I told her last night that I'm not looking for friends but a wife!! I guess that was a mistake but in order for me to GAL I need to detach. I'm trying to enjoy my time living alone (it's a first for me) and make myself self sufficient, so I can feel like I don't need anyone for anything and anyone I let into my life cause I want them to, not need them too. That's my rant for the day.

[Jeack]

Very tuff day today looking for feedback on a few things

1.My wife was coming around after doing some hardcore DBing. texting and saying she wanted to come over house and get in bed, but she quickly turned back to friend mode. I calmly told her that i couldnt handle being friends with my emotional state and if she wanted to be only friends that she can't say things like getting in our bed ect. So i told her that I only wanted to talk as friends if was to move in the direction of reconciliation. If not to leave me alone because I was moving on before she called and texted. Was this a mistake?? Should I have been a friend even though i was getting false hope.

2. I find myself stalking her Facebook page and our bank account. I KNOW I can't snoop which brings me to my next question. Do I delete and block her or just stay off Facebook and leave her as a friend?

3. I know that she doesn't really want a divorce and if I chased her I could get her back. She loves attention. But then things won't change and we'll be in the same boat 9 months from now. I want her to want to come back not because I beg her too.

Thanks in advance for reading and your feedback!

[Cadet]

3. I know that she doesn't really want a divorce and if I chased her I could get her back. She loves attention. But then things won't change and we'll be in the same boat 9 months from now. I want her to want to come back not because I beg her too.

Have you ever heard that if you let something go and it comes back then it was yours but if it runs away and never returns then it was never yours to begin with.

Dont squeeze tight and let her go.

Pray that she was yours and that she will return.
But it wont be on your TIME schedule.

Patience, more than you ever thought you would have is the key.