I have a group of dear real-life women friends that I met when I was going through my divorce. My actual divorce was in 2006, but I (like many here) separated many years earlier.
Since that horrible time I have healed (mostly) and my life is better in oh so many ways, including a committed exclusive relationship with a wonderful man.
One of my friends from the group has social events periodically and her latest invitation went out to her single friends. I went to the party, and I mentioned that I don't consider myself single.
What do you all think? Some of the ladies in the group are quite black and white about it: either you are married or not, and if you are not married you are single.
Well, I AM single according to the IRS, but I am not going to singles bars or otherwise looking for dates?
I think it's just a word. And there's a lot of grey area.
Like you - I consider myself in a committed relationship - as good as married, almost. Not out looking - that's for sure.
In Canada - if you've lived with someone for a year or more you are "cohabiting" and in a Common Law Marriage. You have all the legal rights of a married couple.
I would prefer to get married. This is one thing Josh has put the brakes on - for whatever reason. He has never said NO. But it has been 9 years and there's no ring either. Usually - I'm fine with it but recently this scene went down.
We were at Customs at Toronto Airport - ready to fly to Florida. We had been told to fill out a Customs card - one per family. We went back and forth on "family" and filled out 2 cards just in case but were told by 3 agents - one card is fine. When I approached the Customs officer (and Josh was right behind me) he asked "are you 2 married" to which I replied "common law" and he very rudely told Josh to go to a different line and told me "In the U.S. - we do NOT recognize common law"! OUCH - that bummed me out for days.
Sorry for the hijack - it's a touchy subject with me.
To fully answer you - in my opinion - YES - you are single and can do the fun things with your single friends (except looking for or flirting with men) but you have the comfort and enjoyment of your partner in your committed relationship. & I'm so happy for you!
Glad you weighed in. I don't consider it a hijack at ALL, and I was wondering about you in particular since I know you are in a committed relationship w/ Josh.
So many things are a "grey area" in the post divorce world, aren't they?
Take care, SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
To me - "single" means not partnered up. On Facebook (not that I EVER use the relationship status thingie)- you are single, in a relationship, or married. You fall into the "in a relationship" category.
Which does bring up an online dating conundrum, btw. I'm dating a guy I met online. He's a Love Avoidant guy, so I'm careful not to come on too strong or scare him off. So my profile is still up - but really, I haven't got the time to be dating a second guy at this time. I feel a little bad for the hopeful guys who write me - but can't take my profile down lest Love Avoidant guy finds that scary lol!
