Hi I was on here 4 years ago when my husband was having an affair, since then my husband has moved back home and we are working things out! we have a much better relationship now we get along better then ever. we have one problem driving me crazy intimacy!!!! he says I love you all the time , we hold hands etc. we havent had actual sex for 4 years! I try and talk about this with him and he says hes ready which I guess he is waiting for me, which is hard after being rejected Im not 100% sure if hes even attracted to me that way ?????? I really do not think he is sleeping w anyone but what man doesnt have sex for 4 years? I do love him very much and really want to save our marriage but really having a hard time with this. if i talk w him he thinks i am attacking him! I do not bring up the past I really want to move on. Its SOOOO HARD!!!! we are going to a marriage retreat in Feb I am so hoping this helps.
I try and talk about this with him and he says hes ready which I guess he is waiting for me, which is hard after being rejected Im not 100% sure if hes even attracted to me that way ??????
when you say this, what do you mean? do you suggest having sex and he rejects it? does he suggest and you reject it?
or by "talking about it" do you mean saying "why don't we have sex anymore?" (i.e. complaining rather than suggesting it). believe me, that would be a real turnoff for anyone.
there are a lot of things you can try, such as a romantic evening (candlelight dinner, romantic movie, etc) or physical touch (a kiss plus a pat on the behind for example). these are just examples, you need to think what works for the two of you as a couple. what things did you used to do together before (i.e. leading up to) sex, when your relationship was better?
