I have a post under newcomers. Still under moderation, so things take awhile.
Basically, my wife met OM. She says she loves him and for me its ILYBNILWY. We have 3 kids 20, 19, 16 and all at home. We have been together for 14 years. They are her children from a previous, but I have raised them as my own.
She stays with him most nights now, but all her stuff is here. She says this is her home, she says she loves me and that I am her best friend. Only one of our kids knows. He overheard us talking and he just thinks we are separating.
I know she is cake eating, but not responding when she texts feels like I'm following the behavior that caused her to leave. I feel like she should tell all the kids she's leaving and have to move her stuff out. If she really wants him, shouldn't she leave me completely. But, I'm afraid to push her away.
M: 38 H: 39 D: 20 S: 18 S: 16 T: 14 Y ILYBIDKIILWY/Affair 01/12/2013 Came Back 01/15/2013 Left Again 02/13/2013
She has issues. Why did her first M break up, do you know? There is a pattern. Yes, she should move out and yes, all the kids should know as they are old enough. If those kids are close, the one may have already or loll tell them at some point. Now, they are not your kids and so W definitely needs to be involved. You wife is not being pushed away, she pulled herself out. She is being your friend to cake eat for sure. Be diplomatic, but firm on your assertion that you should not be together if she is with OM and that is what she wants.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
She has issues. Why did her first M break up, do you know? There is a pattern. Yes, she should move out and yes, all the kids should know as they are old enough. Be diplomatic, but firm on your assertion that you should not be together if she is with OM and that is what she wants.
Sigh. I knew that. It just seems so permanent. Her first M broke up because he was abusive. I have been the Dad for 14 years. I don't have plans to stop. I won't put my kids through another father leaving. If anything, this has brought us closer. My oldest both know and we hugged and cried and they are glad to still have a home.
My youngest is Autistic and I'm not sure how he will react. We've worked really hard to get him mainstreamed (2 years of real classes now and a B student (So proud of him)) and I would be devastated if he backslid. I might try to hide it from him til the summer. He'll notice she's gone a lot, but for now he thinks it just work.
Thanks for your reply. It helps just knowing people are listening.
Taking care of my kids, taking care of myself.
M: 38 H: 39 D: 20 S: 18 S: 16 T: 14 Y ILYBIDKIILWY/Affair 01/12/2013 Came Back 01/15/2013 Left Again 02/13/2013
