At what point is it okay to start dating? Divorce is underway, W has moved out and told me that there is no chance of reconciliation. I still hold out hope of reconciliation but I know it is a long shot.
Update on our dinner the night before she moved her things. It went incredibly well. We did not talk about the relationship and, although there was nothing physical, it was like we were back on one of our first dates. The conversation flowed and we laughed and really enjoyed each other's company. We were at a crowded bar and she had no problem having her leg touching mine the entire time. I don't think this was any sort of come on, but it was surprising that she was comfortable with this. She also invited me to do a race (Spartan) with her in a few months.
She did say at one point that she did not think she was going to make it through the last three months of separation and looked like she was going to cry. She said that she had been spending her weekends at a female friends house for support (not having an affair as I thought).
I did mess up the next morning before she went to pick up the moving truck and asked her if this was really what she wanted. She again looked like she was going to cry and she just said she was sad and she will miss the good times. I then said that I was not planning on seeing anyone for a while and I would be there if she wanted to give the relationship one last ditch effort (a mistake, I know). She looked surprised and stated that she didn't think I wanted to be in the relationship (something I stated a couple of months ago when I was convinced she was having an affair). I told her that I had said that out of anger. I did kinda save myself by saying that I wanted her to be happy and I would support her in whatever she does.
Anyway, she followed through and moved her things and I have been keeping my distance. I have a gut feeling that she is having second thoughts, but I'll let her make the next move (if there is one). I still have no expectations.
Thanks everyone for following my thread. These posts have been helpful and very therapeutic. Again, any insight would be appreciated.
Kinda of a silly question for you all. My wife has been gone for five days in her new place. She took the dogs and I kept the cats. I have not made any contact with her, but she sent me a text with a picture of the dogs and said she would appreciate it if I text her any cute pictures of the cats (they are always doing cute things).
My wife has been in her own place now for three weeks and I have been detaching big time. Anyway, just met with my therapist and mentioned that I still hope I can work things out with the wife and that I am not rushing the divorce. My therapist thinks I need to move forward and take the lead in getting the divorce over and done with so that I can move on. I think she is wrong and it is okay to hold out hope for awhile(with zero expectations of course).
