Since the end of September, I had been feeling some distance from my H. When I asked him what was wrong, he would just say that he was tired, stressed , from work, etc. I gave him some space, took our son places solo and let him relax when he wasn't working.
On 10/28/12, the day before our 7th anniversary, we had plans to get a sitter and go out to dinner and a movie. We had been spending the day raking and doing yard work. When I came into shower, I heard his "work cell" buzzing...it is a tracphone that he uses for a side job and to text. I checked it as he was waiting to heard from someone about an order and there were a bunch of texts between him and a female coworker. He caught me looking and assured me they were "just friends" and she was married with 2 young kids.
On the way to drop off our son, it was a.quiet trip...I was trying not to cry. After dropping S off, he told me "that he didn't know what he wanted, hasn't been happy, is sad, stressed, etc."
BACKGROUND...on 7/18/11, at 27 weeks pregnant, I was hospitalized with a rapid drop in blood pressure, lethargy, vomiting, etc. I was transported to closest hospital to monitor me and our identical twin sons. What they thought was the flu or food poisoning or even a gall bladder attack quickly became deadly.
They transported me to a.local woman's hospital, with my husband driving behind...no lights or sirens...still unaware of how bad it was. Once we arrived at the second hospital, I was.met by a trauma team and my H was told that the 3 of us might not make it. After an emergency cesarean, it was discovered that my uterus had spontaneously ruptured and our boys had to be delivered. Michael Anthony lived for 9 minutes and Gabriel Michael was transported to the local NICU, where he fought for 32 hrs and died in our arms.
H was.my rock through this entire ordeal...supported me, held me, talked to people, helped arrange funeral. While I was on disability, I was laid off from my teaching job of 13 years. In Dec. 2011...the same week H's car was paid off, I had an accident, totalling it....15 months of HELL.
In September, as our S began Kindergarten, I became a diet and fitness routine, hoping that if I felt better about me, marriage would get on track. I began actively looking for a job, seeing signs.of weightloss and feeling good. After the be on 10/28, I was a.basketcase....followed H around, pleaded with him, gave cards, etc. Nothing worked.
I began getting suspicious so I checked his email. There I found emails from 2 women, who lived far away...talking about.family, work, then progressed to more. The.women had sent pics, they were heaved than I had even been...and I saved all e-mails to a zip drive. They dates were.on and off from April until the beginning of Oct. I confronted H and he said it was "stupid perverted talk, meant nothing, will never meet, etc." He then had me watch him delete email, prices, contacts, etc.
At that same time I started a.new temp job...reachEd 40 lbs...and felt great...considering. Started MC with H.
Ok, so I have DB...read it twice and after 2-3 tries I made my 180...was already trying before "the bomb" anyways. I have my moments, where I backslide. Last week I saw his phone, checked it and his coworker texted "love you." AUGH...I am doing180 full force...have seen subtle changes...still sleeps on couch...no sex...MC has us hug every morning when we leave.
H has no relationship with his father for 16 years do to his.own affair, which leadnto divorce. h never forgave F for his PA. I know there is nothing physical going on, by an EA is as damaging...MC knows and is working with us.
I.would love.to hear from some of you...I.also want to list the times H has reached out...MC calls then "building blocks to rebuilding.trust"
