I find that this last week has been one of reflection and turmoil. A new year is coming and there are so many things I want to do with the next 12 months. Although I find it incredibly difficult to set goals or even come up with one, I am determined to do it.
So, even though it's not quite New Year, I'm going to make a short list and refer back to it in the hopes that it will keep me motivated.
1)Re-start clean eating. Reduce intake in the hopes of losing weight and feeling better.
2)Get back into the gym more often. 4 times per week would be optimum.
3)Get more involved in my church. Join a new lifegroup.
4)Have a truly meaningful conversation with Gabe about the future.
That's A LOT to hope for, but maybe by making some huge goals I can accomplish just one or at least a part of each.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Those are really good goals and things you can realistically accomplish. I like that you did not set a goal weight, but rather that you want to get healthier. I really need to do that as well.
Will you write this in a place you can see it regularly to keep you motivated?
Wishing you all the best for a wonderful Christmas with your guys and continued successes in the new year.
Sounds like a great plan. Merry Xmas, HNY and make it a great year. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Happy New Year Mish! Wishing the same to you and your family! Here I continue to hope for the best health for all. Without good health - the rest doesn't matter so much!
The sense of smell is definitely the strongest holder of memories.
Yesterday I opened my office door to walk across the hall to the restroom. Someone had just walked through there that was using the same hair product that Gabe was using when he was with the broom. I had an overwhelming nausea as soon as it hit my nose. HOW BIZARRE is that?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I've been eating fairly clean, lost 4 pounds so far, and have been going to the gym 4-5 days per week. Feels great.
I'm exploring my options at church for a new lifegroup. I haven't found one that fits my schedule yet.
The last thing on my list is still causing me anxiety. Honestly, I'm trying, but every time I try to plan the convo in my head it just sounds so lame. I think it's because I can't really come to a conclusion on what it is I want.
I'll tell you one thing I really want! I want him to get a better danged job! In the last month he hasn't applied for anything at all. Of course, one major problem, his car isn't running and the money to fix it just isn't happening.
Oh well.....sorry, not whining, just journaling frustration.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Good for you on the weight loss, Mish - it is NOT easy. I have to do better too. Josh and I are both trying to eat better but it is harder when you're away from home.
The only thing I can say about his lack of effort and your unwillingness to talk to him about it is that I did the same thing with my ex for years. And it never got better. And I swept everything under the rug. And now - when I look back - I can only say that I am so glad that things didn't work out with us as I divorce busted. Forgiving the affair would have been SO difficult but to feel that he really didn't care that much about the quality of our lives would have brought it all to an end sooner or later. For me- I'm glad it was sooner. Or I wouldn't be living the life I want.
The church group could be good. Keep trying. And how about a counselor to help you through the changes you want to make?
Congrats on the weight loss, you're on the move. The gym four or five times a week is major! Life group is a great idea too. I just started one myself on Friday evenings. Regarding "the talk", that's same old same old! It's almost like when you're brain has nothing going on it says "hey, let's think about that talk she needs to have that she's not going to have and make her crazy!" I find that happens to me too. When there's nothing flowing through the the old noggin'my brain starts on stuff I've fretted about for years "what if..." Your brain is not your friend, it doesn't care what kind of stuff goes in there, as long as stuff goes in. So, don't be hard on yourself because you're not having "the talk" they'll always be many more opportunities in the future. Bask in what you're doing right for now
