LOL. I almost forgot the mantra repetition!!! That was one of the most bizarre aspects. Well, honestly, much of it was bizarre but that stood out as one of the bigger ones.
This thread makes me think. What was some of the most outlandish behavior of your MLCr? I mean, Delboy, the chanting is pretty far out there and Lostforwords, the description of you being so radically different (sounds familia ). But I'm sure there are others as well.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I think the most outlandish so far that I thought was jsut over the top was when her parents came out to visit, she fed them days of ehr side of the story (I'm not sure what she hoped to achieve). Her father took me aside and we had a talk about everything (pulling no punches for either of us, it was all honest) and when she asked what we talked about Ijsut said everything. Because I woudln't give her the details she locked herself int he closet on the phone with the OM the entire afternoon and evening. She didn't want her parents ot tlak to me alone because she said I was so manipulative, I would pull the wool over their eyes. Never mind the fac tthat she lied to them about having an affair and said I was just jealous of her "friend" (a friend they told her was wrong and had to get rid of, even before they understood more about their relationship).
I'm 33, she's 32. S4 S2 Married 6 years together 8 EA started Oct 2011 ILYBINILWY February 2012 EA turned PA (for sure)March 2012
Hyperbole rules too for them, not just the reality change. I have been the one for 12 years in this house to turn lights off and lock doors every night. 3 months ago I forgot the back door and it becomes “yopou always leave the door unlocked!!!” etc etc and everything becomes ‘always’ and ‘never’. She actually said to me a couple months ago that she has put in $10k more into the joint account for expenses than I have this year. Actually, it is I that has put in $12k more. Plus almost $2M more than her over the past 15 years….that is not an overstatement either. Amazing!!! Beatrice, you are bang on! Takevowserious, that is my W too! Completely severed ties with a lot of people and they are to her messed up if they disagree with her. They are OUT. Blame too….she actually hit a pedestrian the other day…thankfully not seriously and they are okay but she blames the pedestrian. My W was clearly at fault disobeying a red light. Wow!
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Mine seems to love to dwell happily in the past. Always talking of memories we share. Only the "feelings" are re-written. Even through the recent memories, he "hasn't loved me for years".
It is interesting when he does spew, details that I have long forgotten, incidences that I thought long over are brought up again and again. Like a record needle stuck in a grove, repeat, repeat.
Do you think that is how they finally feel justified in walking away? The song in their head is just one long repeating record of one or two negative things?
As for re-writing the recent past - shoot - mine can't remember what he told me yesterday, like a fish who can't remember one end of the fish tank from another.
Portia, Mlcers tend to revisit their pasts and yes, they even rewrite them. They tend to remember things long ago better than we do and tend to have a very short memory for the present.
There are a combination of factors that help them to feel jusitified in walking away. Depression tends to cloud things and nothing is left in the grey area, i.e., it is generally in the black for them. Whereas, we tend to see all, i.e., white black and grey.
Dellboy has a thread on rewriting history and you may want to visit there to see what the discussions are taking place.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Portia, I'm sorry, my mind is not working properly today, I didn't realize you were already posting on Delboy's thread. I need to stay out of the egg nog!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
). But I'm sure there are others as well.
