In thinking about my last post I wanted to be sure I didn't give the wrong impression.
Quote:
I don't see changing these things before the end of the year necessarily, but having not yet changed them always gives me room to heighten my boundaries if I should feel it necessary. (My daughter actually taught me this. If I take EVERYTHING away for her bad attitude, what incentive is there for her to change her attitude? She has nothing left to lose.)
I have no "expectations" for reconciliation due to my boundary setting. These limits are really and truly FOR me. For my self respect, my dignity and my sanity. And my "boundaries" are not a punishment of H, they are simply a consequence of his actions.
But its very possible/probable that I may have to continue living with H for quite some time. I don't want to live, or have my children live, in a war zone. So if doing laundry which I would be doing anyway, or boiling a couple of eggs keeps the missiles from flying - then so be it.
I am working towards the return of me. Turning the mental/emotional energies formerly given to H back to me. And its a very slow, painful process. I show no tears to H, but that doesn't mean I don't shed them. Hearkening back to the patient on life support analogy, even knowing that "life" is no longer possible and having made the decision to pull the plug, there is still grief. _________________________
And Snodderly the Sage's response
Originally Posted By: snodderly
You certainly have been thinking about your situation and I think you are on the right track w/everything. Set your boundaries as needed.
You are absolutely correct w/the analogy about pulling the plug and there is still grief. You'll have moments of grief for quite some time and it's normal.
You have a "can do" attitude and that's what is going to shine through wherever you go. You have goals and I have no doubt that you will reach them and go even further beyond them.
Shall we cut the cake and have tea or coffee this morning?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sure! Coffee cake sounds delicious! I haven't had that in a long time either. I just might have to run out to the store and get some ingredients and make one this evening.
Try to enjoy your day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sure! Coffee cake sounds delicious! I haven't had that in a long time either. I just might have to run out to the store and get some ingredients and make one this evening.
Am I invited?
Yes I told you not to move out of the bedroom. If you look up the top 10 mistakes you can make in a divorce, one of them is moving out of the bedroom or house. It can be used against you, as abandonment.
I do agree w/Cadet...if he doesn't want to sleep in the bedroom or stay in the home w/you, then he should be the one to leave. The lbs do not want to give the mlcers any room for excuses such as abandonment on our part.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Love the title of the new thread....but always chocolate for me - Devil's Food sounds appropriate!
The vets have given you great advice. I always thought it might be easier to have one's partner in the same house but I think easier is all relative around here!
Have a great day and breathe deeply. The one bit of wisdom I have picked up, new as I am to this, is with MLC, it ain't over yet.
Can I join the coffee cake group? Cinnamon struesal for me. There was a picnic blanket group in newcomers but I never felt I fit so I didn't ask to join. But this one's for me if you'll have me! Pretty please?
me 45 H 46 T 5 M 2.5 BD Sept 6 2011 OW Sept 8 2011 Threw him out Sept 8 2011
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
