Are you looking at dating? That's completely up to you. Although going out with someone while you're separated just 3 months probably isn't a good idea.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I think this is an interesting topic for several reasons. My h only moved out a little over a month ago but I do already feel lonely. I think that is partly because he has not paid a lot of attention to me for a year or more (especially the last 6 months before he left). He kept saying it was because he was really busy at work but now says it was because he wasn't/isn't in love with me. It is sort of a double whammy - I was playing the loving dutiful wife thinking that he was out there working hard to provide for his family and all of our future but that just wasn't the case and now my future is without him (according to him). I have also learned That my PLL is words of affirmation and quality time is 2nd. I haven't gotten those for a long time. Now I am not saying that I am thinking of dating soon, but like I said, I do feel lonely. I know that the answer to that is GAL and focusing on me and my kids and not dating.
Brokenhesrt71 Me 40 (for a few more weeks) H 41 M 18 years Ds 12 and 8 BD #1 12/09 R 2/10 ILYBINILWY Sept/12 He moved out Oct/12
I am probably more hard-core when it comes to this topic, but I personally don't see how dating helps your cause if you are trying to save your M and family, which is why we all came here for initially.
Yet, if you know you are done standing for your M, then go for it - file for D and start dating.
It is worth asking - Many times we blast the WAS who has an OP and label him/her as a cheating spouse, yet how is it different if we go do it as a LBS? Do we have permission / validation just because we are sad and lonely? Wouldn't that be a double standard?
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Nope, and no intention to start. I'm married and woking on my marriage. I don't see how dating would help me build a new and better marriage with my wife.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
KLB, I think people use dating as a "coping" mechanism. Whether that's dealing with the loneliness, wanting to feel loved, or wanting to give love....
.. but many jump in before that have grown to become better people for their next R... or before they have healed.
The timeline is different for everyone....
.. but if you are asking, you probably aren't ready.
I don't think healing from these comes in a vacuum or isolation. Dating and being around ones of the opposite sex who do appreciate your time will re-inject some of your proper image into you.
I know when I was cheated for so long, that one of my girlfriends ( after a couple years in waiting ) dosed me up with kindness, intimacy and sex... It made a night and day different in how I viewed myself and the situation.
I saw that I could "go back in there" with the ex who had created a hell for me, or go on and get what's normal out there in any descent relationship.
It made closure and helped me to get off of a hopeless situation which was not changing.
Nope, and no intention to start. I'm married and woking on my marriage. I don't see how dating would help me build a new and better marriage with my wife.
Does your wife have an interest in building a better marriage with you?
Sometimes dating IS working on you... You can't do it all by yourself.
