we both ignored ours. I didn't want to be begging with gifts (as you can see I was ALWAYS trying to buys tuff to make her happy) and I think she just didn't want to think about us (I'll never truly know for sure what she was thinking because we stil lhaven't talked about it). I do think I did something for myself with the kids, but mine are younger and didn't realize what an anniversary is. I hope you have a pleasant dinner. I think that may be gift enough for everyone .
I'm 33, she's 32. S4 S2 Married 6 years together 8 EA started Oct 2011 ILYBINILWY February 2012 EA turned PA (for sure)March 2012
Some nightsg I feel such anger and hurt. I know that for myself I am standing not because I need her or because I liked the way things were before this (we definitely needed improvement), but because my young children deserve the adults who brought them into the world to act like adults and think of their needs first. I am a strong believer that in most cases children are better off with both parents around. For her to just recklessly say they'll be fine angers me so much. I stand because they deserve my best shot. If things still go to hell I believe I will be stronger for them by building a better foundation for myself and what I believe in.
Just feeling pissed tonight. Angry about the situation. I realize that since the Mc on Monday I'm teetering on fight or flight myself and I dont want to instigate anything that gets us divorced sooner because i lose self control over my tongue. Does an ic ever help? The last one I saw wanted me go write her love letters and compete against other guy. I chose not to as I didn't agree with that approach. I think i need to talk to someone though.
I'm 33, she's 32. S4 S2 Married 6 years together 8 EA started Oct 2011 ILYBINILWY February 2012 EA turned PA (for sure)March 2012
feeling better today. Not that the situation has changed, but I guess for the time being I should be happy that we can still "get along" most of the time as long as we don't approach the big question about us. I mean, even though she says she wants a divorce, she hasn't filed, hasn't hired a L, hasn't moved out, and is going on family Christmas vacation to see both sides of our family. I still think MLC because it seems like even though she says she wants out, she doesn't know what she wants to jump to and how to get there wherever there may be. She can't seem to make life decisions at all. She just spews when she is angry which I no longer stand for (I don't want to get dragged into a fight where she can push my buttons). The good news is that since I have been locking down my anger (I can sense the physical reaction before the yelling reaction now and that is great for me), she can't get all wound up, so we haven't gotten stuck in a yelling argument (which has only happened a few times ever, the last being at the first MC appointment) and it makes me feel so much more at ease knowing I can control that in myself and it seems to calm her as well.
I'm 33, she's 32. S4 S2 Married 6 years together 8 EA started Oct 2011 ILYBINILWY February 2012 EA turned PA (for sure)March 2012
yes that is a good sign that she wants to do the family Christmas together...but it must be hard thinking what is she going to do after the holidays...My MIL sent a post from the huffington post on divorce and its effect on kids...especially young ones...it seemed wierd..that she would send that....how is it going to be going to the IL's house? I would like to avoid it myself but I think it would look petty on my part if I did not go..It feels like there needs to be distance on your part to be able to grow for yourself...find your strengths without always thinking about her. They always say here that time is your friend.
Well for my in laws her parents want us to figure it out and stay together. Its the siblings that I wonder about. I don't know the crap she feeds them but if it is the same she originally told her parents it isn't good. My idea? DB the entire dang family. I wont talk about r. I will keep a positive attitude. It is my Christmas and I am going to enjoy myself no matter what mud is slung. I'm going to act as if everyone is happy to see me and not try to read into anything they say.
I'm 33, she's 32. S4 S2 Married 6 years together 8 EA started Oct 2011 ILYBINILWY February 2012 EA turned PA (for sure)March 2012
“There is a tonic strength, in the hour of sorrow and affliction, in escaping from the world and society and getting back to the simple duties and interests we have slighted and forgotten. Our world grows smaller, but it grows dearer and greater. Simple things have a new charm for us, and we suddenly realize that we have been renouncing all that is greatest and best, in our pursuit of some phantom.” WGJ
I'm 33, she's 32. S4 S2 Married 6 years together 8 EA started Oct 2011 ILYBINILWY February 2012 EA turned PA (for sure)March 2012
So she took my family heriloom silver platter to a christmas party (that i was not invited to) and didn't ask me beforehand. I found it dirty this morning. I cleaned it properly, then went to ask her what she had put on it (it was sticky). She said christmas cookies for a party. I calmly asked that in the future she didn't take it outside the house to use, we have plenty of other platters that can be used that are not sentimental (or silver). It could have been cleaned improperly or stolen and I'm thankful that it wasn't. She raised her voice and called me dramatic. I kept my cool and restated that I wouldn't like it used outside the home and she did not need to raise her voice.
Is this a dramatic request? That my grandmother's silver platter only be used to serve treats within our home? Is this a good boundary? I'm not trying to control her so much as I am protecting my feelings of this being lost, stolen, or damaged. There is sentimental vlaue there and I enjoy using it at Christmas the same as my grandma did. She did not react well to my request. I stayed calm and left it at that. She has ears and can hear. i don't believe I need to repeat myself more.
I haven't been the best boundary setter so I tried to say this calmly and succinctly. Does her reaction speak more of a MLCer or a regular WAW? My stuff seems to have no value to her and she isn't exactly getting on with it when it comes to moving on. She seems more content to sit and stew in her own filth (by filth I mean this negative self centered attitude).
I'm 33, she's 32. S4 S2 Married 6 years together 8 EA started Oct 2011 ILYBINILWY February 2012 EA turned PA (for sure)March 2012
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