Scaredsilly: Thanks for the post....I am more encouraged today than I have been in at least a couple of months. Not because anything has really changed, but more because i'm becoming more ok with everything and knowing that im becoming someone that I really like. I've really tried to practice gratitude and thankfulness in my life these last few months and its really paying off in how I feel about myself.
As I saw here a couple of months ago I think im truly becoming 'a husband only a fool would divorce' and know with certainty that my next relationship will really be incredible...im still incredibly hopeful that relationship is with my wife and if it means waiting 8 months or 18 at least today I can say that im prepared and willing to do either. Maybe with time that changes but for now im willing to remain standing and continue to improve myself.
Anotherstander: I've seen baby steps, they've just been incredibly small. I think im on the right track, at least for now and at least for me, but I appreciate the thought you put into your response.
Anotherstander: I've seen baby steps, they've just been incredibly small. I think im on the right track, at least for now and at least for me, but I appreciate the thought you put into your response.
You also have to remember per the book that our expectations are so high, that we may not even see any steps or are missing them due to expecting more/bigger events!
I truly feel where you are coming from Car, and I for one have analyzed some positive steps along the way, but all of that unfortunately has become null & void since my little Wal-Mart rendevous...LoL
I also agree the part about becoming the Man/Husband/Father that anybody would be a fool to leave, because I feel more like that about myself everyday, and then BAM some stupid A$$ curve ball comes from left field and whacks me in the face.
If "YOU" feel that you are on the right track, then stick with it! Look at Denver: He stated that half the time he didn't know what the heck track he was on due to the curve balls he was thrown as well, but he stayed consistent with things before jumping ship!
Carnac, I hope your PMA were's off on me. I am very glad you have a good outlook on things, that's awesome buddy! Suppo, you got it going as well. Rough says,good stuff!
Guys!! Super uplifting thread!! I'm glad to see that all of you are on a good vibe these days.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
I'm only 4 months in as well, but based on reading DB and DR (more than once) I'd say that if you've seen no baby steps then you definitely should try something different. If there are no baby steps then what you're doing isn't working. Definitely don't initiate any R talks. Let her do that. Asking her to dinner is probably a bit much too. A DB move would be more along the lines of coming up with something she might like to do (sailing, ceramics class, whatever) and tell her you're going and ask if she'd like to join you. If she says "no" then act as if that's fine with you, and you go anyway. There's much less pressure in this scenario, she's going along with you to something you want to do anyway rather than being pressured into accepting a "date".
Good idea from AS. What about planning something with your S (that your W might like to do) and mentioning it in passing? Family time might get you guys doing something together and might be a step towards something else?
3 cheers for the class of 2012!!!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Arsene and others: I think when the opportunity presents itself I will plan something with my son and see if she wishes to join us. There hasn't been much of an opportunity for that recently, but im looking. Im not going to try to 'force' anything, just waiting on the time when things come together in the right way and then will make the offer.
Hope everyone has a good Wednesday. MrsD: I know your gonna read this.....keep your phone in your purse. LOL no calls to X.
Keep the faith folks......there is greater things in store for each of us if we improve ourselves first.
Hope everyone has a good Wednesday. MrsD: I know your gonna read this.....keep your phone in your purse. LOL no calls to X.
Keep the faith folks......there is greater things in store for each of us if we improve ourselves first.
Oh Carnac you are too funny this morning. Im feeling amazingly strong again this morning. Possibly alittle sad because I miss the contact, but Im doing ok. I made the promise to you that I would get through day#4 NC unless about C. And C is in school, so I guess I wont be contacting him. Happy Wednesday!
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Anotherstander: I've seen baby steps, they've just been incredibly small. I think im on the right track, at least for now and at least for me, but I appreciate the thought you put into your response.
Of course you know your sitch better than us and know how best to proceed, the thing I like about these forums is we get a lot of different perspectives and that helps us resolve how to move forward even if the method doesn't necessarily agree with some of the advice.
I know what you mean about tiny baby steps because that's all I'm seeing as well. Patience has never been my strength! I really think there would be a lot more WAS reconcilations if the LBS's had more patience, but after a month or two most people want to just give up and move on. It even happened with my parents, my mom was a WAW and by the time she decided to return my dad was done with her. They both went on to multiple dysfunctional relationships afterwards, they never were happy again I don't think.
Happy Wednesday!