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[BFloat]

the title of my post is inspired by the song "let go" by frou frou. give it a listen. love!

so i have been absent on the boards for a couple of months. just doing my thing... working things out. i should first say that i have closed the door on my M but i have not locked it. we are headed for D which will mostly be initiated by me (even though i said i would never get to this point). but it's been a long battle.. and before anyone jumps down my throat about not being at it long enough.. i realize it says we've been separated only since november.. but the history extends beyond that.

my ex (because really.. that's what i think of him even though it's not legally that way yet) and i have a fairly positive relationship. i've worked very hard at getting to this place.. having to let go a lot of the bitterness.. hurt feelings.. all the things that left me feeling so empty..

once i dropped the rope.. my focus became getting my kids through this with the least amount of distress as possible. there have been tough moments.. but i'm trying to do right by them. one day.. i was out w/ my S and D and S said it would always be him and i and D. in that moment.. i realized it would be so easy to plant that little seed in his head simply by not saying anything further but.. i said to him yes.. that was true. and that sometimes it would be S, D and H. and then reinforced the fact that we both loved him very much even when we weren't there and that he could call anytime.

so here i am. a very different person than i was last october. my goal was to get through this with as much grace and dignity as i could and living my life by making choices that were true to who i am.

i'm casually dating. and no.. it isn't because i'm seeking any validation from a man. it took me a while to get to this stage. i needed to make sure i was ready and for a long time i was not.

hmmmm.. what more can i say at the moment? bring it on..

[kat727]

Sorry that you find yourself here, but welcome.

Many of us have been here for quite a while. I come for several reasons but primarily to see if I can pay it forward. Divorce is one of the most painful experiences and I certainly hope everyone would work very hard to not go through it. My ex and I have been divorced 4 years and I am still coming up with new issues with the kids as they reach different stages in their lives.

As for us knowing each others names, after a few years these people have become real friends not just support group members.. Many of my friends from those early raw days have moved on and rarely if ever come here. Some remain though and we have supported each other from new relationships to reconciliations to issues with our kids.

I hope we can be of help to you.

kat

[labug]

Wow, all my gang is moving here...

[Brit45]

......no pressure bug.

my goal was to get through this with as much grace and dignity as i could and living my life by making choices that were true to who i am.

Floating this was exactly something I once said to myself. Early on my goal was a daily one. Each night I wanted to look back on the day and be proud of the way I lived my life that day. Integrity was my big buzz word. We've really kind of prided ourselves on not being petty or nasty or spiteful to one another. Don't doubt what a great example that's setting to your young kids.

[keep_going]

BF,

You sound so well in your post... Serene, at peace and well grounded. Yes, there is sadness in all of this, but we all seem to be reaching that place after a long time at this.

I am glad to hear that you are moving on with your life and looking forward to it. You have accomplished your goal as you have navigated some tough waters. Pat yourself in the back for it!

Please keep us posted and come back for support when you need it, specially during your D process.

I will also be joining here soon, like many of our friends who joined the boards around the same time we did.

Heck, we are fortunate to have each other, aren't we?

(((BF)))