No responses on my "Devastated" thread..Maybe I should try a new post or post in a different forum.
M: 42 H: 38 M:15yrs Bomb May 2012 H/EA&PA H will not end A w/OW
After work I went to the salon for a mani and pedi. I really needed the pick me up. H called and wanted to know what was for dinner. Since I wasn't home yet he suggested one of his favorite restaurants. During dinner he kept referring to "us" during the conversation. When I would say "me" or "you", he took notice and pointed that out. I smiled during our dinner and he noticed that as well. He said, it felt like I was laughing at him. I am just so hurt over what is happening that I have to smile to keep from crying sometimes. He actually thinks that he is going to have a wife and mistress at the same time sickens me to the core. The entire time during dinner I invisioned CHEATER-LIAR-ADULTERER all over his face. He did not resemble the man I fell in love with 15 years ago. I don't know, but I feel like resentment is starting to set in. I love my husband so much but he is swept up in a FOG of fantasy land and no one can get through to him. After dinner we went to Walmart and got new bike seats. He said he wants "US" to join a new gym and ride our bikes together in the afternoons.
This morning, I noticed he was fully undressed in the bed. I did not acknowledge it as I had to prepare for work. Usually, I would play around with him and we'd ML but I was not feeling it. All I picture in my head was H & the OW. He hugged me and I hugged him but then I quickly hopped out of bed. I could tell he was sulking and I wanted to be their with him but I just couldn't. We didn't say much before going to work. I feel it's all going down hill. Is this the way it usually works for DB. I want him to notice that I'm backing off but am I pushing him away as well. My husband thrives on attention and if I don't give it too him, I'm sure the OW would be more that happy to oblige.
I feel like he somehow thinks that I'm going to accept his occasional flings and just go on with our lives as it nothing is going on. This is AWFUL. Going to review the 37rules again.
