Hi anotherstander - that's a good point. I guess I'd be better of comparing myself to the "me" I was and would like to be. It's just such a shame to have the sort of anxiety I have over this. It makes it so dificult to work even the most basic, common-sense plan of action. No, not "not hard". I've been at this long enough that I think it's nearly impossible. There are so many better ways for me to have responded to things and even though I wanted to do that, I couldn't. It's just sad.
I think your lack of assurance and self-confidence in the marriage (heck, even in YOURSELF) stems from the fact that you've never gotten any final verdict, one way or another, as to whether or not your wife has had an affair with this man.
It's not paranoia when they really ARE out to get you.
By what objective means did you determine this:
Quote:
I am now convinced that there was no PA and that type fo EA was really my W being head over heels "in love" with her job, the travel, and the fun exciting things this man provided as her boss. It was also her desire for independence, her lack of emotion and reassurance to me, the stress of our busy family, and my insecurities and fears. This man juggled several women (using company funds) in addition to his wife, and was probably "grooming" some younger workers here - so certainly HE was interested. But she, as far as I can tell, walked the line.
Hi Starsky - I understand your point. I really can. All I can say is that I've looked into it pretty seriously since then and I'm convinced there was no A. I have some friends here that had to do the complete investigation of this individual - email to email and day to day - if there was any evidence I'd know. If you want to say that the behavior was unprofessional, disrespectful of my feelings, or bad for a marriage I'd agree(though she wouldn't). I'd agree that she is growing out of the M (she wouldn't).
I know the board is full of people who got blindsided when they weren't expecting it. I'm just saying I don't want to go around expecting it all the time.
