Last real contact I had with H was about a month ago. He stopped by to see me at work. Nice time. He seemed to agree to MC, we were intimate at his initiation and he dropped me off at the airport for a trip a few days later. Haven't heard from him since except a short text about paying a bill. Figure it's part of the distancer/pursuer dynamic somehow. I really don't know.
Anyway, Retrouvaille is coming up in our area (about 2 hours away by car) in October and it is the closest one to us and the only one offered in that area this year and I would like to ask him to go. He seemed to agree to counseling again last time we spoke and I have mentioned Retro to him before and he wasn't crazy about it but think that he would go if I asked him and if I couched it in such a way that he knew he would not have to share in front of the group and as a way that we could move forward and make a decision about whether to divorce. Trouble is since we are not having much contact, I don't know how to do it. Do you think sending him an email would be OK? What should I say? Is it better to do it in person? I can't decide and want to give it the best chance of getting a positive response. Any help would be appreciated. Love you all.
Send him the information and tell him that if he is interested, to fill out the information. Put the responsibility on him. If he doesn't respond, then he doesn't want to R, at least right now.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Yes, you're right. Turns out we will be having lunch tomorrow after about a month of no contact. I'm guessing it's better to bring it up in person. I have mentioned it in passing before and he was not excited about Retrouvaille but I think he would do it, if I asked him to do it for me. What might be a good way to ask?
Get them there, let it work. Getting them there is 90%. TRUST ME! Read my sitch. Saved my M. I REALLY believe that. W went almost against her will, JK, and even told me so there, but after the weekend, we were 75% reconciled. You don't have to share there with group at all UNLESS you want to.
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
Bond and Jlove, thanks so much for the input. We had lunch today and H agreed to go-- with an open mind even. He does like personal development seminars in general and he is actually looking forward to possibly learning more about himself, he says. But he still says he has no hope for the M. Onward we go.
