I am feeling so desperate. I have been with my husband for 16 yrs, and we have been married for 12 yrs. On 6/11/12, a fight led to him leaving, and now he never wants to come back. He is certain he wants a divorce. I have been trying the techniques I learned in Divorce Busting book for about 3 weeks now. I surely was doing everything I shouldn't have in the 2 weeks prior. By week two, the situation became even more shaky; finding that he has been having an affair for the last 4 months. I have appointments with Chuck, a marriage coach. I have an appointment with him tomorrow, but feel so hopeless.
To protect myself (we decided last summer that i could quit my career and stay home with our 3 children) I put the paperwork together for a Legal Separation. I did not submit it, but he did sign it. Things have been getting better...more positive interaction, he coming or calling, and even kissing me on the cheek or hugging me when he arrives or leaves. On Thursday he let me know he is going away on a business trip, and his fling will also be going on the trip (they are coworkers). He hasn't said anything about the divorce, and when he found out it was paperwork for Legal Separation, he was relieved. However, now that he leaving for upwards of 3 months, I don't see any possibility in reconciliation. He will get to live as a single person, no responsibilities to our family or our children, and his girlfriend staying in the same hotel.
I need help, advice, guidance! Please, I love this man, and know that our marriage is a gem, salvageable and worthy of trying. He won't even put it into his mind right now. He just came around to talking and letting some of his anger dissapate. Our relationship is on the right path, but still too fragile for this test. Please help!
