Looks like the last thread was locked for some reason?
So an update (condensed)
1. W was in Durbanville since Friday night. I asked her where (wow - courage!) The answer was at Sisters with niece.
2. Got an SMS last night FROM her saying "I'm still alive. Were in durbanville for a few days. Just arrived at X. Watching tennis and having something to eat. Going to stay here. How are you and how was your weekend?"
My answer: Glad your okay. I'm watching tennis too (go Murray). Weekend was great. Got to watch Nicholas Cage on 3D tv :-))))
And back - "Go the swiss" You have to know tennis to figure this bit out.
And the reply from the W "Enough of tennis. Were did you watch the 3D movie? That sounds nice. Enjoy"
"Watched at friends in Platterkloof. Beautiful house. Glad I got out of the house."
Today the W got home with Pa in tow. Went to do some work - as if he can't manage himself. Came back at 11:00 and it was actually okay to be in the same house with her. Actually had a conversation with her. With full eye contact!
She had a phone call a short while ago where she mentioned "two weeks ago". I thought she was talking to the L. Turns out it was the bank wanting money out of her thats been outstanding for seven years! There's a surprise!
At least it wasn't someone banging on the door like last time. I get the feeling she's trying to run away to protect me. She needn't bother. I'm man enough to sort that lot out.
Got a Facebook message for BIL hoping this'll work. ANOTHER family member who is "on our side". I've asked him not to get involved but to listen to his S / my W.
MY L has sent a letter to the W's L. So now it starts - didn't want to. He's NOT a rottweiler - but he CAN be as many other L's have discovered to their cost. He just want's to protect me and for that I'm very appreciative. I have a meeting on Wednesday afternoon.
W will be back this evening but I have little hope that she'll relate any time soon. I may be wrong and have been. I live, hope and pray.
So there we have it. A condensed version on the happenings since friday.
And after wonderful night with friends this happened - a revelation
During the last party (Saturday before last) the wife repeated what she said to me during our close bonding session "Mac if I ever leave you all I'll take is my bed and my cooker". This was to everyone at the party including her mother! So all the others who branded my w as a gold-digger can go ^%#}€" themselves.
One more thing I don't, and never have been, worried about.
Weird - texted my W to say "have headset. I know I said that washing dishes was therapeutic but every night after coming home from work is not so fine :-("
W: "Thank you for the headset. How many of the therapeutic dishes are mine? Few spoons and a cup"
M: "Pls don't get into mine and yours. (skip)"
And finally from the W "Out with x,x and x. Phone battery flat. Can get me on x's phone"
Actually had a nice chat with W and x. Including "Will back back later but you will have to make your own supper" Strange. A touch of caring?
I just finished reading the rest of your locked thread as well as this one and I have to say... You have Starsky and trust me, you need to listen to him, and truly comprehend what he is saying to you. I wouldn't be where I am today, if it wasn't for him.
If she wants a bluetooth, then it is her responsibility to get herself one, not yours. Stop coddling her in the hopes that this will make her return. If you want, do your dishes and leave hers sitting there. She started the D proceeding, therefore it is time to protect yourself, and start living for you. Do your own wash, do your own dishes, do your own cooking etc... Let her see just what it is going to be like to not have you sitting there at home waiting for her return, and then being at her beck and call once she actually decides to walk through the door.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Thanks for the bite sized piece of advice from one I trust. I can handle "bite sized". One of two if not more here.
It's onboard with the understanding I'm looking at the result of the W being "ticked off" and pointing at me saying "see you ARE a nasty person". Bummer.
All this after getting some brilliant news from my neuro this morning. It seems I'm doing well. So much so that he's starting to cut back on the meds! In a couple of moths there'll hopefully be another reduction. And another. Can't drop 'em instantly. Wow! Relief.
And the answer to the above was there in the last thread from Starsky .....
Ask yourself, "What is the right thing to do in this situation? What is the thing that God Himself would have me do, if He were standing right in front of me?" Don't "tick off" your spouse on purpose, and don't go around trying to be a d*ck, but if you are confident that you're doing the right thing, do not be concerned one whit if your cheating spouse gets upset or not.
And a list for the W that I'd love to give her but will probably bottle out
You want a Bluetooth HeadSet? Then get one yourself. (Thanks serenity) You get caught on your (actually my phone) and fined? Pay it yourself. Do your dishes, washing, cooking, drinking - whatever - and I’ll do mine. (And again serenity) Need to find a job? Then do it instead of out drinking it up with mates. Take turns with OUR dogs - FEED THEM occasionally. Want cigarettes? Buy them yourself.
what's so difficult about behaving like a human being and showing mutual respect?
