I could say I'm not in purgatory anymore.... but then no-one would know who is posting this!! lol.
Lot's going on, it's been keeping me busy and away from the boards. I hope that as the dust settles, I can get back on here and return the support that has been given so generously to me over these months.
A re-cap, so no one has to go hunting through tons of posts: * H moved out last August. MC started, and ILBNILWY cam the day after Thanksgiving. * H confessed that OW interest was my BFF in January, she admitted to having same feelings (haven't spoken to her since then.) * Separation papers were started.
Currently: * H is leaving for AFG in a week. Will return in August 2013. * He told my S6 that we are getting divorced, and then when he returns, he won't be living with me and the kids * I am looking for a job. * I am spending so much time with my kids! S6 has asked a few questions about the D, and I answer as best as possible. S2 is struggling with attachment issues and has a meltdown when anyone leaves the house (gee, wonder why that is?!) * I have accepted that the D will happen when he returns, no use fighting it. He has made it very clear what his intentions are and he has not wavered from them since last August. I've also been told that he intends to start a R with OW when he returns... can't wait to watch that one blow up in both their faces!! * I'm focused on planning my life as a single mom, and especially having no help over this next year... it will take a little while to get into the routine- but I got this!! * He's complimented my weight loss and instead of thinking that he's changing his mind (like I used to do), I laugh to myself knowing that some one else will get to enjoy it!! * Just got back from Vegas!! So much fun!!
I'm comfortable with where I am. I know I still have daily struggles with OW triggers and dealing with the stress of deployment, job hunting and learning to be a single mom. I never would have thought that in 11 months, since he moved out, that I would be able to say that I'm at peace with my life....so I can only imagine what the next few months can bring!
**Anyone know where my title came from??**
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I have missed you and thought about you everyday. Life goes on. We go on. The OW/BFF thing is a bitter pill to swallow. And yes, watching what happens should be interesting.
I googled it, and think it is Incubus!
My computer froze, but the lyrics were interesting.
Hang in there and keep doing the best you can for the kids!
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Hey Purg! I know you have a struggle ahead of you but your strength in dealing with this sitch is shining through your post. You are going to be more than fine when all is said and done. You've got a lot of folks rooting for your success and I am confident that you will come out of this smelling and looking like a rose!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Wendy! you got it right! it's not the most thought provoking song in the world.... but it pumps me up and reminds me that I have complete control over where I want my life to go
Thanks for the warm welcome! I used to feel depressed, when I was a newbie, and I would read about people becoming 'comfortable' with the idea of Divorce. I used to think, "wth. I want to learn how to prevent my D, not become comfortable with it!" After coming through this process, I get it. I started out trying to save my marriage... but DB helped me save myself. And I like who I see in the mirror again!!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Welcome back Purgalicious! You sound like you're in a good spot. One thing...I think it will be important for you to find some kind of help with the kids, so you can make sure you have time for yourself. Or you could make some new friends and invite them all over for a party. LOL
Don't be like my mother who was basically never away from my sister and I except to go to work until we were about 13. She still idn't get a life until my brother was in his teens. We're talking 25 years!
You really do sound great! I'm excited for the new and good things you are experiencing! Keep us posted!
Purgalicious, glad to see you back in the official board. Your story can help a lot of other people, to see how you've handled your anger and pain with such dignity and class.
Is he leaving in two days now? How's everyone doing with that? Has he made any kind of schedule or arrangements for keeping in touch with the kids?
(I don't know Incubus, I'm going to go with ces and choose Sandwich.)
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
