Hi toni- The sitch is unfortunate, but it is what it is... enough people have told me it sounds like it was all for a greencard, even some of her friends... I tried for a long time not to believe it, but once I accepted it, I was able to sleep again. I am thankful for the son we made and the time we had together, even if it was a pretend for her... I will treasure the memories I have forever. I will love her till I take my last breath, but at this point there is nothing more I can do but try to survive each day... maybe one day she will realize the mistake she is making, but I can't place any belief in that, she has made her deal with the devil, its between her and God now.
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
If it was for a greencard, you gotta let that go and move on. Deserve MORE for yourself, and you do. I would always cherish my son, but if the wife was not really there with you, for you like you thought and it was all make believe - you will need to retrain your mind and expectations for the real thing.
Even an average relationship is lightyears ahead of a bad one, and a good one will make you wonder "what the hell was I thinking".
One of the factors we never think about in DB-land is that perhaps the WAS never ever loved us, and was using us from the start.
Good luck with your sitch...i hope things do get better for you. Do something each day to contribute to your PMA, and even if things don't work out with your W, you will be in a better place emotionally (and physically too if you've been working out )
Me 33, H 34 T 15 (on and off, 7 years this stretch) M 4 DD 3 OW July 2010, IDLY - Oct 2010
1st sep 28/5/11-14/8/11 (my idea) OW confirmed 25/11/11 (H travelled with OW 26/11/11) I moved out 3/12/11
Something interesting... the wife has been pushing so fast for a divorce, over 2 weeks ago she said I would receive settlement papers, I spoke to her on the day I was to receive them, and she told me not to push her... I have heard nothing since...
Any ideas why she is stalling??? After pushing so hard and so fast...
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
Peringo, this isn't unusual. Don't try to mindread.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Nah, not really, I hear through the grape vine W is introducing S into OM extended family... she really seems to be replacing me and my family, which [censored]! Not a fricken thing I can do about it...
She destroyed me emotionaly, now she is trying to destroy me financially...
Oh life is grand right now... but it goes on...
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
At what point will it get easier? I do okay until I see her, then I break down and it starts all over... she's got to either honor her vows or disappear... why can't she understand that?
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
"how do you go on without the woman God wants you to be with..."
If you really believe in God, then you leave things up to His plan. Not yours. While you were separated, you should have been rebuilding yourself and gotten stronger.
I'm sorry this happened, but you have to accept her decision and start living your life. Stay strong for your son.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
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