This morning I woke up early to go for a run, but it was raining. So I took my time getting ready and opened up the curtains in my bedroom because I like to watch the rain. The way my house is situated unless you are standing at my front door you can't see inside my bedroom window and no one come around the side to the front door unless I'm expecting them. So I'm standing there in my next to nothings and I see H knocking at the front door.
I'm fully aware that all has to do is turn sideways and he'll see me. So I do nothing but carry on getting dressed and let S answer the door. He says to S "is your mother up, S says no she's still sleeping." I say I'm here and come around the corner zipping up my dress.
H says "Sorry to surprise you" but is still walking towards my bedroom "I forgot something here last night and you know...thought I'd try to catch a glimpse of you half naked...for old times sake"
W.T.F, DBers???
So I giggle and go oh yeah...good timing. We go into the kitchen where he gets what he need and in a flash of inspiration ask him if he wants to take some of those leftovers from last night for lunch today! (Cheryl would be proud)
He says yes and as I'm bending over to find a container I catch him looking. Then I'm dishing it out and he says just a bit..that's enough. I grin at him because I'm actually shaking and I don't know it was the way he said it. He asks me what? and I say I don't know it was just funny how you said that. And I realize I'm sounding very giggly and flirty.
W.T.F, DBers?
Then he says he's off and I say drop that off whenever and point to the container. So then we chat about how IKEA doesn't sell those anymore or something I don't know...
And I say oh, I need to give you my new business card! (which I'm very excited about) and he says oh yeah..that's really cool. So he follows me around the house until I locate my bag. And he says I found yours from back home the other day...you gave me it to me on our first date. I said I remember that. He said I found it last night actually I was going through some things.
I didn't point it out or elaborate. I just handed him the new card and said oh by the way that's a work cell phone so no texting dirty messages!
He laughed and turned to me when I opened the door and said "I'm not sure who you think I am Madame" in this very haughty voice and I'm giggling "we all know it wouldn't be messages just pictures of my p*nis" because we've joked before about who are these crazy people that text naked pics. I crack up and say "yeah that's what I meant no p*nis pics please" And we're both smiling and laughing. And there's a twinkle in his eye.
And he said I'll see you later...I'm going to grab some tools out the garage.
sooooooo DBer's last night/this morning I was considering filing. Honestly I was...I was examining my motives and if that's what I really wanted to do..but I was considering it.
And once again when you think you might be done you're not really done. I think because the visit was unexpected, I had no time for expectations, or thinking about any of it.
S said that he'd texted him 3 mins before he got there to ask if he was home. But didn't ask if I was there, or call me, weird but who cares.
So the challenge now is continue "more of the same" friendly, flirty, fun with no expectations and just let life happen.
brit, what an exciting morning you've had! it's nice when they think of us in a sexual context. it makes me feel attractive and since the bomb, that's an area i came to doubt.
i like what cadet says. keep feeding the squirrel. just hold the food out and let him come to it.
however, i wouldn't actually feed the squirrel while he's with OW, eating from her hand, too. he must choose which feeder he's going to eat from...
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Thanks Cadet...that's exactly why I titled it that...so everytime I come here I'll reread it and remind myself. No expectations, no plans, no timeline, nothing. Just letting right now BE.
SS, I'm not even thinking that far ahead (feeding from a hand) because that would be expectations.
He texted me at lunch and said "That was really really good. Thanks for that" I replied said "Glad you enjoyed it!" I almost said something else like I thought it needed more cheese...but I'm trying to let things be...no steps towards or away...
Cheryl said I needed to be the OW. I find that hilarious. I'm not pursuing, I'm not overthinking. I don't really care. This monring was fun and funny. That's all!
oh Cadet what was that book you'd suggested on pursuit and distance? I think it goes hand in hand with co-dependency and learning not to pursue or withhold out of anger.
Whaddup Sallie- I had this flirting dynamic w/ my WAW a few times during this past year and I enjoyed it as it seems you are. I however attached expectations to it and thought it was a major sign that we were getting back on the right track.
It didn't turn out to be so what I would like to say is feel free to flirt and enjoy it and perhaps in your case it will lead to bigger and better things. But also keep your expectations in check because it can be a big let down if you attach significant meaning to it.
Expectations have been my downfall everytime. I am doing that this time: GROWTH!
The only thing it did was tell me he still gives me tingles. I don't have expectations about his behaviour but my response to him told me I'm not ready to file.
That's all I took away from this morning. Oh I also took away the reminder once again that there is nothing more attractive than someone who is happy with themselves and confident.
