I'm married 15 yrs, 2 kids 8+12. Husband was great and great father. In Nov 2011 noticed changes. Asked if there was someone else and he said no. Jan 31, 2012 he finally admitted it. Lied about who she was, kept his wedding ring on, didn't move out. We grew further apart. I was begging, crying. Got the DR and stopped that. Started working on myself. He stayed locked in another room when/if he was home. I found out OW was one of the kid's teachers. Fights got worse. On 5/31 he was forced out by law. I have not spoken to him since. He now texts me to see kids b/c we have contact again. I reply nicely. When he picks them up I make sure I look good and act nice. I guess I'm implementing the LR. I had to file for support since he hasn't given us any $. It's been this way for 3 weeks. He filed for D 1 and 1/2 weeks ago. I haven't seen him give an inch. What do I do now ? Problems all stem from bad finances. He says I'm lazy b/c I make being a mom my priority over being an employee. He said he doesn't love me and never will. He was stone cold to me while still in the house. He has a place now but not sure if OW is there fulltime. Help ??
I am so sorry. My H filed for divorce as well just a couple of weeks ago. We had a lot of problems due to finances as well and me being a SAHM and not being driven to get a job.
I'm glad you started working on yourself. That is probably the best advice I have gotten so far.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
That burns me. I was a SAHM for 7 years until my divorce (came to DB 2 relationships later in Jan 2001). I went back to school and have a great job now. But there is nothing harder than being at home with the kids and nothing more valuable for the kids.
You should be so proud. Your kids are really blessed to have you. Really blessed. And if you H's had to pay for the care that you are providing, and especially at the level you are providing it, it would be a rude awakening.
I learned everything related to db the really hard way. But one of the most important things, as Jess said is to take really good care of yourself....treat yourself really well. Focus on the positive, especially about yourself.
It's kind of like putting your own oxygen mask on first (as the flight attendants say).
Hang in there. You CAN do this.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
That burns me. I was a SAHM for 7 years until my divorce (came to DB 2 relationships later in Jan 2001). I went back to school and have a great job now. But there is nothing harder than being at home with the kids and nothing more valuable for the kids.
You should be so proud. Your kids are really blessed to have you. Really blessed. And if you H's had to pay for the care that you are providing, and especially at the level you are providing it, it would be a rude awakening.
I learned everything related to db the really hard way. But one of the most important things, as Jess said is to take really good care of yourself....treat yourself really well. Focus on the positive, especially about yourself.
It's kind of like putting your own oxygen mask on first (as the flight attendants say).
Hang in there. You CAN do this.
Thanks! They don't realize how hard it is.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
Thanks for the encouragement. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I am a fix it personality. Patience is not my virtue. Not contacting him is hard. Before the OW we were in contact all day. I had started a FT job over a year ago and went from ft mom/pt employee to the opposite. I was very depressed. He took over my role and I hated being on the sidelines. I see my faults. Instead of falling deeper into my depression with this happening I went to work. I started therapy right away, changed my work schedule, became more of the mom that I wanted to be. I came up with a plan for our finances. He didn't want to hear/see any of it. I just can't get over that we haven't talked since 5/1 and he hasn't tried to contact me once other than about seeing the kids. Am I doing this LRT right ?
Me 40/H 42 M 15/T 18 D 12/D 8 11/11 R Changed 1/31/12 H Admits A 5/1/12 H Leaves 6/6/12 H Files D
I let my W be a SAHM, know she says I was not there for her because I was gone working all the time. I did it because thats what she wanted. Now it's bitting me in the butt.
ME 31 / W 29 M 7 / T 13 S 3 / S 5 NOT HAPPY 11/11 BOMB 12/27/11 MOVED OUT 2/12 THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR HER 5/14/12 W Files D 6/24/12
I let my W be a SAHM, know she says I was not there for her because I was gone working all the time. I did it because thats what she wanted. Now it's bitting me in the butt.
I guess you just can't make some people happy. No matter what you do.
Me:29; W:37 T: 6 M: 4 D: 2; SD: 14; SS: 17 H filed D: 6/13/12; H moved out: 6/14/12 H moved back in: 6/28/12 Confirmed EA: 8/12
