I new to the board. I fond this after trying to find some answersd.It start in 1/12 when my whife found some emails to an ex. We had been having small problems for abot six months. Her insecurties about me cheating. Well I have been through all the dons't. We have been seperated about four months. I been doing the 180 abot three weeks. Everything is very quiet now. Little to no communication except a text here and there about wanting me to get the kids. She actually called me three weeks ago and wanted to talked about a divorce. I was doing good and all my emations took over. I'm better now bt the quiteness is killing me. Don't know what is going on. I know I must learn patience. Really hard when I have the kids, because I so use to use doing faily thins. I find my self not calling or spending time withe kids because it hurts so much. Any advice about the quiteness.
Hi Top5. Welcome to the DB board, you will get support for your sitch.
Understand that right now you are on moderation so your posts are reviewed before they are seen by others, and that can take a while.
In the mean time, keep posting. Use this as a journal if you need to, to vent or post observations or thoughts. Eventually others will begin to engage you on your thread.
You indicate you cheated. Understand that she is likely feeling very betrayed and hurt. She needs space. If she is to come out of this, it will be at her own pace.
In the mean time, you indicate you are doing 180s. These are 180s that you know are things that have bothered her? Or things that you want to change about yourself?
Also, what are you doing specifically to be more transparent about your life, because it will be a big deal for her to begin to trust you again.
I have finally got my emotions under control to give her the much need space. I have been reading a lot of post. And I have being doing all the wrong behaviors. We are at a quite time. Not much calling or talking, that means no arguing. I know I have to learn patience.
I need advice from seasoned DB. I have been doing the 180 since about July. The arguments have stoped, bt now silence. The is no move in either direction. Its like in a stand still with no movement. What do I do?
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this rough time in your marriage. Your marriage can heal -- and we can help! I strongly suggest you speak with a Divorce Busting Telephone Coach who can help you come up with a specific plan to get your marriage back on track. We have been helping people do just that for more than 20 years. And we specialize in working with the spouse who is motivated to save the marriage, even when the other spouse wants out.
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I need advice from seasoned DB. I have been doing the 180 since about July. The arguments have stoped, bt now silence. The is no move in either direction. Its like in a stand still with no movement. What do I do?
Keep working on YOU.
You can not control your spouse. Only YOU.
What do you want to do? What goals do you have? What GAL activities do you do?
Next Advice, I have being or going dark. How do you do this when there are kids involved. To I be less convenient for the kids or more . Do I call and check on the kids every day. To I adjust me schedual so that I can keep the kids. when she needs to do something. I'm asking because one of my wife compliants was thatI worked all the time. I was never there yo help her with the children
