It has been really hard the last few days. Husband and I have been talking to each other quite often, although it is really only about how the move is going to work, who is going to take what, etc.
Our joint accounts are gone and we have individual accounts. We're figuring out how to change the car over. I'm moving out next week. He has been really generous and has basically packed up my stuff for me and is helping me move. He bought me some new stuff (toaster, utensils, etc) and has been very kind.
He is angry because of the way my mother treated both of us when we were married. He thinks that I basically did what she felt I should do and I never stood up for him or for us, which is true, but I didn't want to deal with it. For instance, she was the one who told me to basically take the money out of the account, and he feels that I can't think for myself. I think I agree that I am easily persuaded to think a certain way sometimes.
I guess I will be going back to the old apartment to do laundry, so I will see husband sometimes. I don't know what to do at this point when I interact with him unless I just keep doing what I'm doing. I haven't mentioned anything relationship-wise once. His mom told me that he said he still wants to remain friends after this ends.
I can't see things changing and I can't see anything turning around. I've definitely been out and getting a life and I do feel better than I would have otherwise, but at this point I don't know if trying to save my relationship with him is even worth it. I don't think he will ever see that there's a chance it could work.
I know you're venting, which is great to do here and not to your spouse. But just know that you will definitely NOT have all the answers right now. And there's no way for you to see the outcome of all of this as much as you want to.
There's a higher power at work here which allows you to let go of the control and know that things will work out the way they were intended to. Be the best YOU that you can be and everything else will fall into place. Have faith in that.
Focusing on the things that you have no control over is going to keep you stuck. Your life is your own. You can turn this situation into the greatest learning experience of your life and become a better person because of it.
You have accomplished so much. You can do this!!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
Well, I don't necessarily believe that there is a higher power, but you're right in that I have no control over a lot of the things I'm focusing on.
I don't feel like I am any better of a person, though. I wish I felt like some major change happened to me or something, but I just don't feel it. I like that I'm going out and spending more time with people, but it all still feels so forced.
But how can a little change or even a major change cause that "feeling" that he said was missing to come back? I guess I just can't see the big picture.
you're only in the beginning of this. you'll feel better and understand more as you progress.
even if the two of you don't R, you will not be alone in life. you will have another relationship and probably, marriage.
you don't want to go through this again. take stock of your responsibility in your current sitch and make the changes necessary to have a better life and a better chance at happiness.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Ugh today I am just not in the mood to deal with him. He told that I parked my car in the wrong spot because it floods there and I got annoyed (because why should he care anyways) and said yeah well there weren't any others, and he said really snappily, yes there are, right in the back, and made some really nasty face. i said sorry really sarcastically and he made some noise and said he was trying to help in a really horrible tone.
I feel like crying over something so silly, but it annoyed me a lot.
