Yes, I agree with you. I don't interfere with his relationship with the children at all. But it is the safety and welfare issues that concern me.
I've had to decide with things such as the publishing the chidren's photo publicy whether to drop the rope because I realised if I made a huge issue of it then he would just do it more.
I admire you, for you seem like you're really holding it together given the situation with your H and you have a baby on the way!
I too have had issues with parenting and my XHMLcer. My children are older, D9 and D12, but nevertheless....I've had issues and still do from time to time. From my standpoint I've got part time father/disney land dad.
I wanted to say that I also see MLC the same as narcissism! I guess you could say their behavior definately is like it, but how they get there is questionable. I've found that the more I read about narcissism the more I understand the irrationality of MLC and my XH behaviors.