W has been contacting both my brothers. She has started th process to drop the order of protection but it could be a few weeks. In the meantime she is worried about paying bills. I have always taken care of it. I cannot have any contact with her or go to the house so she is going to have to figure it out. I have shown her and she is pretty smart so I am confidant that she can do it. There is money in the bank and she has been paid. I am not sure what she expects me to do. My hands are really tied right now. I feel sad for her. She is reaching out for my help but I can't.
Correct thinking. Counter intuitive, but you have to let things continue on their natural course. You cannot be the backup plan, because she'll just do it again. Happened to a friend of mine in town 3 times, the third time he let her leave.
He was a steady and consistent provider, took care of her and she got off on a single person rampage.
I need to be the best husband even in these trying times. And not just say it here but do it. I've made mistakes and I need to let her make hers. It hurts and I will stumble but I need to get up and push on.
Well I've been waiting to find out when the hearing is to drop the order of protection. It is on August 6th. That is the first day of school for our D. She will be starting 2nd grade. I will miss it. Kind of down about that. Really down actually. I am just telling myself that I'm a good father all year round and that it's only one day. I am also probably going to miss meet the teacher. These are all things that I really look forward to. I guess maybe this is just a lesson being taught to me.
I saw my W yesterday. She was pulling out of the neighborhood as I was driving by on my way to work. She wanted to talk. I was nervous. I pulled over and we talked for about 20 minutes. I told her I was sorry that I had scared her and that I had missed her. She said she was sorry too and that she also missed me. She said she didn't know what we should do. I felt confusion coming from her. But she also talked about divorce still and getting an apartment. The time apart looked like it really worked in my favor. She has also been tweeting to me. The tweets are quotes of missing me and heart signs. So confused.
I saw my W yesterday. She was pulling out of the neighborhood as I was driving by on my way to work. She wanted to talk. I was nervous. I pulled over and we talked for about 20 minutes. I told her I was sorry that I had scared her and that I had missed her. She said she was sorry too and that she also missed me. She said she didn't know what we should do. I felt confusion coming from her. But she also talked about divorce still and getting an apartment. The time apart looked like it really worked in my favor. She has also been tweeting to me. The tweets are quotes of missing me and heart signs. So confused.
Well if she is actually scared and home feels secure you may get some outside help... Maybe she got into alot of trouble in affair land. Does she realize how badly she hurt you? I'm not sure if your supposed to convey this. But we cannot always be the stable falback plan.
I think you are doing extremely well. It is just a testament to giving space and time... (even if you're forced to), really does work in your favor. In the future, when you see W, just be friendly but do not linger around her. Be the first to say good-bye and keep interactions short. That way you won't say things that you'll regret later and you'll leave her wondering.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
I don't know what to do about my wedding ring. I took it off the day I had to get out of the house. I had my brother put it in his safe. Our D noticed right away. She asked "Daddy, youre not wearing your ring anymore?" I told her not right now. She then grabbed my hand this weekend and looked at it and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Just checking". W has not worn hers for almost 4 months and D told me she thinks she still wears it. I know she doesn't. Weird how she noticed mine but doesn't know that her mom doesn't wear hers. I put mine back on the other day because it feels weird without it. And it's my promise to my W and our D. But I don't want to confuse D. I really don't know what to do.
If you're still married and you want to still wear it, then wear it. There's nothing wrong with that.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
JKS, Thanks for your words of encouragement. They mean a lot. My W filed but told me she hasn't done anything to serve me yet. I think it has something to do with them still not knowing for sure if this is what they want. When all of this first happened W & I lived together for 3 months without her getting her own bank acct, moving out or filing. I really do think they are not sure plus it probably is nice to have the security of the spouse still there while they get a little "freedom" to what they please. I agree it's not fair to the LBS but it also gives us hope that maybe they do want us. I don't know, just some thoughts. I do know that we need to be happy too.
