I'm seeing on here some of the situations have large age gaps. From 7 to 20 years. I was wondering if there was any information or guidelines for relationships with large age gaps. All relationships have their difficulties, I have to assume that large age gaps have some common issues that do have a way of being managed.
In many of the db-ing and I've been through several years of it. I'd say a terrible behavior is to micro-analyze what the other person is doing. You can waste most of your time doing that, and falling further behind while doing it.
Anyway, after getting cheated on I've been taking care of my new relationsihps much better. There is a common pattern I'm falling in where it seems the other person is doing too much "taking". I'm not sure it's on purpose, but if there is a rewards system, they are getting heaviliy gifted whether they do anything or not. I was wondering how you restore the balance without "saying" it.
An excellend db technique is getting self involved and putting yourself in excellent physical shape and getting ontop of all oyur non-maritial issues. Also developing an interesting life outside of your maritial partner. It seems they always want to come back when your not worried about them anymore or others take a serious interest.
The book "The Passion Trap" went into some detail about what to do if you keep finding yourself in the "one down" position in your relationship with your partner one-up. May be worth a read.
WRT WAW suddenly getting interested when someone else shows interest, that is a phenomenon called "preselection" whereby if other people want you, you increase your perceived value to all potential suitors. You are simply more attractive when more than one woman is interested.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
