I appreciate your post Forward. I am enjoying my relationship with new guy more and more. He is actually the first man in 5 years I really feel is a potential mate. Like my aunt says, you have to kiss a lot of frogs in the pond before you find the right one. My X is not a nice man. He really has tried to make my life as miserable as he could. He continues to do so but I just don't respond anymore or anticipate his antics before they happen. I was/am holding on to the whole family unit thing and hoping that he goes back to what he was. I am not so sure he is capable. His narcissistic qualities are so overwhelming and I see him more as a attention seeking, manipulative blood sucker. He really does not know how to love or be loved. Quite sad actually, but I know I deserve and need happiness in my life. This experience has sure taken its toll and I just want to smile again.
Hugs, Trusting
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, You did get an apology, and if I were you I'd take some heart in that. Something is wrong w/your X. And I believe mine, too. And that deserves compassion.
But with that said, you can only allow someone to hurt you for so long, you know? It's possible he will shape up, but I concluded w/my X that it is more likely that he will flounder. I have pity, but I cannot fix the situations that frustrate him. And I just enabled him to flounder less, and he took advantage. He can keep the life he chose.
You do deserve happiness.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
So the texting continues and I ignore what is not related to the children. He did have to remind me that his birthday is coming up! Really? I was planning a trip with the kids at the end of July. He is trying his best to deter them from going. He has to punish me for not communicating with him as he would like. Too Bad..... even if the kids change their mind, I am still going. Can we say controlling?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, Don't forget manipulating as well. Funny how he has to remind you or the kids about his birthway. What a kid! He should be worrying about whether his STBW will remember and make his day special...LOL!
I wouldn't change my plans for him. In fact, unless the kids are scheduled to be w/him, they wouldn't cancel either.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He is very much in the punishing mode with me. He truly is a narcissist.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I keep thinking that it sounds as if something is about to blow in your situation. But I've thought that for a while and they seem to keep limping along.
Maybe it's not a bang but a whimper.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Who knows what is going to become of my ex. I just know it is time for me to start living my life in a "moving forward" mentality.
Hugs....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, I am moving forward as well, and thinking about new family and new happiness. But I continue to read here because somehow, I want to know where these stories wind up. After years of hearing about people's lives, you wonder--how are they? Did the MLC'er ever "wake up?"
I'm glad that I DB'ed. I learned about myself and I can say that I did my best. Maybe it wasn't enough, but it was the best I could do. I have no regrets. I can look at the situation and know that I tried. I can also see the dysfunction in that relationship.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Hopefully someday we can have better R with our Xh as coparents You certainly handld your situation amazing and Im sure you will create better R forward
Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Thanks forward and peace, Moving ahead is our only option. Ex continues to text me. Today he reminded me for the second time that his birthday is coming up. It is clear he wants some acknowedgement. I have chosen to only respond to kid related things. He and bimbo are taking a 5 day trip with my kids tomorrow. I will never get use to that.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
