i'm good. i'm fine. more than fine.

[MrBond]

Yes I can see how you feel like you need another man to make you feel validated. I guess you are one of those who needs to have someone in their lives to feel happy.

Is that what you want?

[labug]

Hmmm that's not how I read it.

bf, here's a hug (((bf)))

Are you going to continue the RV work? How many more weekends do you have?

You'll know the step you need to take when you need to take it.

[rickb89]

(((((((((((((((((bb))))))))))))))))))

[BFloat]

Wow. Mr bond.. I'm a little taken aback at that comment about requiring me being someone who requires validation from a man. What have you that impression?

LA - Thanks for the hug! There are 2 weeks left of RV. I gave H the choice whether he wanted to continue to which he said yes. H didn't want to do any of the dialoging this week because it dealt with intimacy. I'm not pushing anymore.

[Rick1963]

(((BF))) The standing one day for the M and saying eff it the next is part of the healing. It is a learning process that really svcks but we must go through it. What I read is that you are struggling with forgiving him. Maybe I'm wrong but it is what I'm reading. I know how strong you are and you will make it.

[Cadet]

No I don't read it as needing validation but that you are unable to LET GO with out having some sort of EXPECTATION or control mechanism.

Maybe this is a step in that direction.

Maybe you need some reason to LET GO.

I think that the RV gave you some sort of false EXPECTATIONS.
I wish it were that easy, but this is really hard stuff.

What does "DONE" look like?

[ces67]

(((BF)))

Its seems that reaching out to your friend is part of closing the door on your M. Not sure if that's how you see it or not. At some point you do need to move on with you. And you know that the choice of your H joining you on that journey is his and not yours.

Can you tell me why calling your friend was out of your comfort zone? What part made you nervous?

[rickb89]

Hey. Your heart and mind and emotions are going to be all over the place for a while. This is all so not easy and then to redefine your life going forward is not easy either.

What's underneath all that, your beautiful soul, will still be there waiting. Eventually you will reconcile all of it.

[RoRoinMD]

(((BF))) I had this in draft, but work kept me from responding. Gotta earn my keep.

I didn't get that you were seeking validation like Bond said. And I don't see that "you are unable to LET GO with out having some sort of EXPECTATION or control mechanism..." or that "RV gave you some sort of false EXPECTATIONS..."
like Cadet said. Maybe I'm missing something. What do I know? *shrug*

I'm wondering about the calling your friend thing too. I like how ces put it - "It seems that reaching out to your friend is part of closing the door on your M." I think you need to think more on why you called it trivial, but you were nervous and out of your comfort zone.

I think you are beautiful and strong, and that you TOTALLY rock! I see a teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot bikin in your future. ;-)

[labug]

I think you need to think more on why you called it trivial, but you were nervous and out of your comfort zone.

Hmmmm, good point, RoRo.