I found this site last week late one night. I am so glad I did. I really think my husband may have some of the midlife crisis characteristics. Funny thing is I never considered it until I saw this site. Funny thing is that it was a revelation that yes, we are that age. We have been married 4 years together for 5. We have a 5 1/2 month old son. About a month ago during a walk in the park he tells me he is not happy, has been seeing a therapist and not sure he wants to be married. WTF!!! It was an utter shock. I totally can see how someone can say they had no clue. I had no clue. He said couldn't I tell something was up with him. Yes, no, I am not sure cause I was dealing with being pregnant (hormones) and now dealing with a lack of sleep, breastfeeding, hormones (lack of), changed body and all the pleasures of just giving birth and going back to work full-time. The final kick in the gut was that he says he has felt this way for a few years. Seriously, WTF!!! During all our conversations about having a kid, this just never happened to come up. He stated he thought having a child would make him feel better. Speechless!!! I am glad I found the list of things not to do. Kind of late, cause I did a few of them, but oh well. I am glad I found the list of things to do. I have been going places and not even inviting him. I have not ready any of the books yet. The talk of the big D has not come up. I did state that I wanted a chance to have my say in whether this marriage works or not. I said we need to see a therapist and he is open to that. But I am the one who must do all the research. The feeling of limbo [censored] the most. I am pissed at him that he felt this way for so long and still agreed to bring a child into this world. I am not sure I could ever forgive him if my son grows up with divorced parents. I find it hard some days to see the positive. I feel like my best friend has been lying to me all these years. But maybe this is just part of his midlife crisis issues (he turned 40 six months ago). I feel guilty because at times I think our son can see the grief on my face and he looks at me with such serious eyes. Anyhow, I look forward to reading the information and gaining more understanding and knowledge and I pray we get through this and make our marriage stronger.
Get the DR book and read it. Get out and GAL. DETACH. Believe none of what he says and half of what he does. Have NO EXPECTATIONS. Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise. Take care of your Baby. Be the best possible MOM that you can be
You are on moderation right now on the forum. SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.
