W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P3

[Snowman]

Reached the magic # of posts so here is my new thread. Here is a link back to my old thread:
W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

Chatterbug-Thanks for the advice on my W calling to talk to my S as I was going to post about what people think about her doing this. I know some people that are in this situation have a set time to call their kids that are with the other parent but this is usually just random calling or texting. I told her many months ago I didn't like this and put a stop to it but then conceded that is was ok for our S but I think my first reaction was correct as I thought back then that she was just calling because she was lonely and wanted to talk. I will address the situation next time she wants to talk to him.

My plans-I will being going to celebrate my fathers birthday with the family at our favorite pizza place tomorrow. I have been doing P90x so I will try to get workouts done a couple days this week. I need to finish the ever so fun taxes this week. I need to get a new cellphone and switch to my own phone plan but I can't commit to the Iphone or Android. I would like to see a movie like Hunger Games or something else new, I will figure that out.

Nice workout schedule Chatterbug. I wish I enjoyed running but I have to be doing something while running to keep me motivated .

Thanks Starsky for the support.

[sayitaintso]

Hey Snow- Not sure if you have read my sitch (haven't posted in a week or two) but we have many similarities. My w moved out 8 months ago and I have 3 kids, my oldest stays w/ me and the younger 2 go back and forth to her house and my house.

Anyhow, when they are with her and I haven't seen them all day I will text or call her so i can talk to them to see how their day was and say goodnight, etc..

They are 10 & 6 however. Your s is 2 and I don't recall reading how he responds or reacts to her call. Is it a positive experience for him? Is he confused? I think you setting some sort of boundary or plan is definitely needed. How are you planning on addressing it?

I've done p90x a couple times and really liked it. I'm doing the Insanity program now.

Iphone!

Best to u Snow!

[Snowman]

Sayitaintso-I need to read your thread if I can find it. My S sometimes like talking to his mom and sometimes he doesn't like to talk to her. It does confuse him and he asks where his mommy is. I'm ok with the calling as long as it is consistent at the timing. My S is always saying he sees mommy's car and now every once in a while he asks for his mommy. I just explain to him that she doesn't live here anymore. My S is nearly 3 now.

My W is now to chicken to even come over to get a package she ordered on Amazon. She asked me to put it in my S's backpack when I drop him off to daycare. I'm not sure if I'm a fan of this but I will do it. My W also was nice enough to remind me that I can call our cell phone provider to get my own account now. It's because she is squirming in her pants after what I said to her. Apparently she deactivated her Facebook account as well so I heard from a distant friend. Oh well I guess I cramped her style on her multiple OM she is chasing. In all honesty all I can do is laugh at this point about her reaction.

Went to my Father's bday party and had a great time. He is a great guy and has been a great influence in my life. I might being going to a baseball game this Friday which will be fun.

Time to stay positive and detach more .

[chatterbug]

click on his name. posts... and threads started...

Snowman. You gotta be the respectable person here.

The package from Amazon.

You need to let go of the anger , bitterness and do the decent thing.

I know its a very small thing. But all you had to do is.

Send email or text.

Package arrived from Amazon. I got it. How do you want to get it.

ANSWER ( If reasonable )

OK. in the backpack it goes.

Then the next time. Shen sends something there.

You send an email saying.

Another package arrived. Please update your shipping address to your current address. I got it. How do you want to get it.

ANSWER ( If reasonable )

OK.

The third time.

Return to sender.



You will become amazed at how contact is initialized. To see if your still pining away.

Could be some cd that has not been listened in ages. It will become the sole focus of her life with you. Full of anger and spite when you just choose to ignore it.



P.S. Go to the ballgame on friday.

I love a ballgame. I love how life changes. But baseball. Its slow. It allows you to sit and talk. Watch a game. Have a wobbie pop. Enjoy a dog or pretzel. And get things off your chest.

Which p90x are you doing?

I am currently doing the lean program.

Did the shoulders one this morning.

I have a 4 mile run tonight. Followed by a swim and a little hot tub to relax my sore body after all that workouts.

P.S. keep positive, exercise and detach. It will help with bitterness and anger.

But when you do feel them make sure you work through them. So you can eventually not have them anymore.

[chatterbug]

Hi Snowman. There is a gentleman here called JC180

Going through the same things as you with a 2 year old son.

Can you go introduce yourself to him in his stitch.

I think that you two will be able to give each other support and advice going forward.

[Snowman]

Chatterbug-I will read and post on JC180's stitch. I did do the reasonable thing. I told her the package was there when it showed up. I did put it in the backpack as requested.

She also emailed me today asking about a suitcase. She wanted me to leave it on the doorstep so she could come by in the morning to get it. I responded to her in a honest way by saying something like following:

To be honest this no face-to-face or voice communication is silly. You don't need to worry about having to talk about us. The invitation to talk is always extended. I will be professional and cordial with you. I told her she could come get the suitcase or I could drop it off since I was headed that way.

She said ok and said thanks for offering to bring it by that would be great. I just can't handle this childish behavior of absolutely ignoring each other when our S is in the middle. I pointed out the elephant in the room in a respectful manner and the whole complete avoidance thing is done. We exchanged other emails about our S and it was rather positive.

I swear this is a fundamental difference between her and me. If I see the elephant in the room I call it out. She likes to ignore it and let it damage everything as it walks around. I know people are different on how they approach things and the other person's perspective must be taken into account as to how to approach something but it does have to be approached or the elephant just keeps on destroying. Anyway, I'm just glad that honesty worked and does usually work.

[chatterbug]

Make sure you fill that suit case with stuff you know she is going to ask for.... To save the next 3 or 4 trips she will plan on making.

I quote myself

You will become amazed at how contact is initialized. To see if your still pining away.

Could be some cd that has not been listened in ages. It will become the sole focus of her life with you. Full of anger and spite when you just choose to ignore it.


I just ended up putting a stop to it. And said. No more. I put all her stuff in garbage bags that was truly her's. Put them in the garage. And said. Nothing else will leave this house. If you want the remainder of your things. I will put them outside for you to gather up.

Ladybug got the hint. And stopped asking for dvd's , some thing from 20 years ago in the basement... etc...

As each time after that I said. NO or just ignored.

[Snowman]

Update-Went to the baseball game last night and had a good time. I had not been in a long time.

I went to my S's soccer practice that my W is the coach of. It was fun although awkward at moments as one father said I my W's name and I assume you are together. All I said was yep because I didn't know what else to say. My W didn't coach the kids at all by having them do any soccer drills or anything. It was kind of weird as they just all ran around but oh well they are 3-4 years old. I would have at least tried to organize them to do some kind of organize drill or something but not my role. I'm just their to support my S.

After soccer I help pickup the soccer balls and put them away. I walked my S to my W's car with her and my S want to hold both our hands and swing. That was kind of a weird moment. She told me how she got a new cellphone which I saw and that she has to get her ankle check out because it is killing her when running. I said that doesn't sound good I hope it turns out ok. I helped my S get in the car and gave him a hug goodbye as well as saying goodbye to my W. I walked away and went to my car. I went to help a buddy fix a fence after that.

I didn't fill the suitcase with anything although I should have as there is still lots of her stuff in the garage waiting to be picked up. I have been doing great detaching. I'm thinking less and less about her. I have been having more fun and working hard. I did P90X today, dug post holes for a fence, and played soccer. I'm tired.

[workinghardguy]

All I said was yep because I didn't know what else to say.

Yeah... that suxx. It's an awkward moment. You don't want people to feel bad for you or be embarrassed for maybe causing some pain for you.

Tonight I was picking up a pizza and an acquaintance saw us. She asked my S if liked the new house. How she was surprised we moved so fast... Didn't really know where to go with it...

You get used to it though. It's just another part of life and background noise eventually.

[Snowman]

Well my W had to come over so I could get her signature on the tax return. It was hard because she came when my S was awake and of course he was begging to go to mommy's house. She played with him a bit and we ended up sneaking her out while I distracted him. Not fun.

My W was all dressed up in her fancy jeans and revealing shirt as she just came from school. I can say that she never dressed the way she is dressing now. Oh well, I guess that's what you have to do to lure all the suckers in .

I had a fun time playing B-ball and running around at the park with my S. My W showed up while we were at the park and when I got home she asked if I had changed the code on the garage. I sad yes and she said I thought so. What did she think I was going to do just let her steal all my stuff. I have let her get whatever she wants so I don't know where that comment is directed.

I love this roller-coaster, it just never ends.