Hey Everyone! Havent posted in awhile. I am always lurking and reading. Just wanted to vent I guess and kinda update my you all on my life. I have had NO CONTACT with my xh or my son in over 2 years. Havent seen either one of them except for a pic of my son on his facebook page. Dont have email, phone number or anything for my son. I DO however know where he lives (thanks to an old friend on the force), he still lives with his dad. As for xh, I havent seen or talked to him in a looong time. People tell me time to time that they see him and he is totally different STILL. It doesnt bother me. When we were married my xh was a jeans and tshirt guy. From what i hear he dresses in button down shirts and Sweaters. Some friends of ours has actually found it amusing as do I, because I know this is new wife dressing him. lol. whatever. She must be one controlling woman. I hope she keeps him on a leash, good for him. Anway, the reason I am posting is to tell you what happened and still how messed up and angry he is. IN our divorce agreement xh took over a past bill to IRS. It is being pd down by them taking MY refunds because xh doesnt get a refund. He is suppose to be making payments but I had no idea I went and filed my taxes the other day and was wondering what the amount was left owing to the IRS. It kills me that I am the one paying this debt back. My tax preparer told me that I would have to take xh to small claims court to get my part from him. SO to avoid court fees I thought I would just call and work this out and give him the chance to pay his part volunterily. I did NOT want to talk to call him at work and i have no other number for him. So I called. I figured i would just leave him a voice mail to call me. I have no email for him. I left him a message but did not get a return call. so I got the bright idea to call new wife and explain to her and have her pass the word on to xh. I was wrong to do so. She acted very childish and would not tell me anything (which i figured that, so I will try calling the IRS), but I wanted her to know that I did not want to end up in court over this if xh wanted to work dsomething out. She threw a hissy fit. I just hung up. I called xhs work and left him a message with operator (mutual friend). He decided while I was on the phone to talk to me THRU the friend. I dont understand? The man would not put his phone to his ear and carry a five min conversation with me, instead he told his sec/friend what to say. lol I know you all say they stay lost awhile in the fog, BUT I have not contacted this man in anyway, dont want to. I am trying to keep peace because it will just make things worse for me and son. on is already brainwashed by these people. I am beginning to wonder if there will ever be peace for us all. The end conclusion was what I should have done in the first place....I am taking him to court. I tried. Will it ever end?
sorry submitted to early. As far as my life. I am still dating. I have went back to school for nursing and thinking about joining a bowling league. I use to be a pretty good bowler. My nephew and I are doing fine. My bf still lives out of town and visits. Have some thinking to do about this situation but I am ok Just wish there was Peace for sons sake. I know son will be back in my life but the waiting is soooo hard.
I guess I do it to establish some sort of communication for sons sake. It has still not changed though and I just dont understand why. Why still the anger? I will never understand. He has moved on and so have I. Our son is the one punishing.
I wanted to mention that I have been getting counseling and he she seems to think that because of me having to endure some abuse from my mother and not being able to leave, that I think I have to endure from others. Its a start!
Renee, this discussion you had about your divorce and taxes had NOTHING to do with your son. Please stop using him as a crutch. People have talked to you time after time about trying to talk to your XH. He doesn't want to talk to you. I'm not saying its your fault, but he doesn't want to speak to you. Why in God's green earth did you speak to the OW about this? Did you really think she would say "OK Renee, you are 100% right and we will fix it" Renee, you had to know she would dispute you if you said the grass is green. Honey, you ask for some of the abuse you get. If you really want to talk to your son, then do it! He's a grown man, not a little kid, get ahold of him and talk, don't involve your XH or OW in anyway. As far as your money is concerned, take his butt to court and get it. Simple as that!
Instead of contacting son when he has told you time and time again not to why don't you sit down and right letters to him and mail the to yourself, set them aside and when the time has come that he does contact you, you can hand them to him and he will know that, there wasn't a day you didn't think about him.
Now not to be harsh, but they have both repeatedly ask you not to contact them and from time to time you do with some excused that could have been handled a different way (like going through the lawyer).
It comes across as disrespectful because you are not hearing them, well you are but you are ignoring their wishes.
Thanks MaMaMo As far as a Lawyer, I didnt have one in the divorce and if I was going to go that far to get a Lawyer, I wouldnt have contacted him to try to settle this out of court. Yes they have ask me NOT to contact them and I dont unless something like this comes up. I guess to be honest, I see alot of divorced couples that get along when it comes to their children and I dont understand if I have moved on and he has remarried why he is still angry and hates me so. My father has been really sick and an aunt that my son adored and I worry that if something happens to either one of them, my ex wont be decent enough to take a message to pass along to my son. THIS is the ONLY reason I would want to contact ex. For something like this. Other than that, I have no desire. I wish him well. I DO however miss my son terribly. I figure after three years he should have moved on from the anger. I DONT call them or bother them. BUT they may come a time that I need to due to family. I dont want it to be awkard. We were together over 20 years, alot of history. Plus the upside would be that my son gets to see his mom and dad civil to one another and maybe just maybe he wont be hesitate to contact me. I am just being honest here.
