We often make statements out of anger or hurt, only to regret it later.
Do not talk about the marriage or ask her what her plans are right now. Do not reveal what you plan to do or not do. Get out and find somewhere to go, even if it's just to get ice cream, she doesn't have to know the details (mystery).
You need to be making plans for the weekend now. Always have something in mind to do.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi kenva, our sitch's have similarities albeit mine is much more drama filled. I don't feel experienced enough to give advice here very often, but your question is pretty direct. You will never know what's going on in her head, and it is quite possible that if you could you would not want to know. This is termed mind reading and something you want to avoid for your own sanity, you can't read into her thoughts or actions. My W had an affair as well and trust me in that I know this from experience and it accomplishes nothing.
Follow the 37 rules, GAL and work on yourself, only time will tell how it is going to play out. Good luck to you my friend, we are in the same boat...
me 38 W 30 T 3 M in 05/2010 Separated 08/2011 Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8 I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5 Anxiously waiting on the judge!
Yep quit mind reading. Watch her actions instead, and then take them at face value. Do not over analyze.
One piece of unconventional advice I give guys is this:
Pretend you and W are already divorced, and you are ready to date again. What type of qualities, attributes, talents, physical looks, lifestyle, etc would you deem important to attract and KEEP the woman of your dreams?
Develop these traits as much as you can, odds are your W will notice and find herself drawn to you again.
Well this morning she asked for our tax returns for the last 3 years. I gave them to her like I was giving her the mail.I guess she is moving forward with seeing if she can refinance the house on her own. I think she is still seeing the OM. She is still hot and cold to me. I still brew her coffee for her in the morning and make dinners at night. Every once in a while I get a compliment on what I made, when it's something out of the ordinary.My son on Sat spent the night at my inlaws, which we get along great,and are behind me 110%, asked his grama if she and granpa sleep in the same bed together. He knows that wife and I sleep in separate rooms.Don't know if I am rambling here, but I just needed to get it out. Today is very difficult for me, but I am trying to get it out before the end of the day when we are all home together.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
That would be a surprise to me, because she asked me if we wanted to use lawyers or get a mediator. She was pushing for mediator.The only thing she keeps bringing up is who would take the house. Really confused and scared.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
Yesterday the W asked if I was going to a club meeting at church on Wed. I used to go to them every month before our son was born.I said, didn't know yet. Today, instead of calling her, I texted her, since she is all into texting lately and to whom, I don't know, telling her I can pick up our son from school, which I do everyday, but have to leave at 5 to go to meeting. Even if meeting is done early, I'm going out for a drink with one of my buddy's there, who knows what is going on with us.Even after our conversation on Sun and her saying she is going to try to refinance on her own, the house, I still am chippery around her, tell her good night, good morning, and tell her to have a good day when I leave for work in the morning. But still hurting.
M 43 W 35 S 6 BD 7-11 Served 5-2-13 Sep agree signed 5-12-14 Wife moves out pending refinance 5-14-14 Divorce hearing set May 2 Divorced May 2
