I don't know whether there's anyone that can give me advice on this....my husband and i have lived apart for the last six months but after being constanly off then on,then off again, we finally been pretty much on for the last six weeks. my difficulty is this: i have FINALLY been able to control my own emotions enough to stop oushing him all the time, and to le things just happen. but since i've moved in to my house i've spent some time decorating but hadn't bought any furniture (i guess i always hoped it wouldn't be permanent and my heart wasn't really in it). H wans to take things really slow, not tell anyone yet, and that's fine (kind of!). but i'm tired of just having a chair to sit on and a bed, whilst he's in our old house which was fully furnished. He doesn't want me to buy any furniture though 'in case' it's a waste of money. I'm beginning to feel that my life's completely on hold and it's miserable living here. i don't want to be pushing him to let me move back in, but at the same time I don't want to be living like this. I'm pretty sure if I start buying furniture that'll completely push him the opposite way! I don't know if any of this makes sense, it's late here and I'm probably rambling. I just don't know what to do for the best and feel if I do anything either way it could ruin where we are.
Agree with Cadet on this. With one exception, TELL him what you are doing and why...maybe not all of the why, but more like I'd like a little more furniture, and I don't want to give you the wrong impression.
The problem when things start going well, is the deire for them to go well...faster.
Slow and steady.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Thanks cadet -you're right about the threads -i'm having to use my phone due to problems with my internet and its a nightmare trying to navigate the site so was easier to start a new one! i accept the point tho and will stick with this one! i have read DB and read the threads,even managed to scrape enough together for some coaching! the money i would spend would be the money we agreed upon when i moved out. when he was saying he wanted me to move back in, i guess it just seemed a bit of a waste. I thought we were moving towards that simce the first week of jan - he was making all the right noises, he loved me, i was the one, wanted me back home. He took me away for the weekend for valentine's and we had a wonderful time.
I don't know what happened - yesterday morning we spoke and everything was fine, then yesterday evening he told me he must be shallow because all he can think of is me 'wobbling around' (i went up a dress size when we first got married,long since lost). He was having doubts again and so we're obviously not going to work out and he's back to wanting to send off the divorce papers. I tried to call him once today (I know I shouldn't have) and now I guess the best thing to do is nothing as far as he's concerned? just get on and buy some furniture! i find it hard - I don't have any family and my friends don't understand why I'm bothering. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read and respond.
