My saturday night has consisted of: pillow fighting with my boys, making grilled cheese sandwiches and having a picnic dinner while we watched Dolphin Tale (I still cry every time that little girls gets out of the van!), watching my baby run around the house naked after his bath, piling up in my bed with both boys to read bedtime stories, having them fall asleep on either side of me, and catching up on a few threads here (still got more to do!)
Things I noticed as I reflected on my day: * H made up the guest bed this morning- he NEVER, EVER did that before, even to our own bed all these years!! Why now??????
* H has brought up my trip a few times today. He first asked: "What am I going to tell S6? I mean, you don't have to tell me exactly where you're going, but it would be easier if I could just tell him that you were visiting someone." and then he brought it up again while we were playing with his truck: "Are you getting excited about your trip?" I told him it is bittersweet, and changed the subject... he didn't ask anymore.Why so interested in my trip?? Why ask if I'm excited?? Does he think I should be doing cartwheels because I have to leave town to get away from the pain he's causing me?!?!
* H left tonight and S6 asked him where he was going (this is the first time S6 ever did that). H answered that he was going out with {old friend who was in town for the weekend-who is a guy that ADORES me and H together}... H was well aware that I could hear this conversation. **I've noticed that when H is going to OW's house, that he avoids explanations or gives very vague responses, but he has no problems giving details when his plans don't involve her.... I know that I shouldn't analyze and think over H's words and actions... but this makes me feel good that he isn't going to her place tonight
Ok, back to responding to all you wonderful people who came to my post today!
My H should be jealous of all the fun he missed tonight. He should also be jealous that I have two blonde hair, blue eyed younger men in my bed!!.... ok, so one of them is still in diapers, and the other has lost a few teeth- BUT, he should be jealous that he doesn't get to fight for covers with them nor get kicked in the back all night- good memories that he's missing out on. BTW- HOW IS IS POSSIBLE?? for a 20 pound child to take up MORE than half of a king size bed?!?! Poor S6 has been pushed down to the bottom of the bed because the baby has spread himself across the top!! LOL!!
I would normally send a picture to H, but I think I'll keep this memory for myself.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Sounds like a fun evening and you've got him thinking and maybe even questioning a few things.
Not sure how the kids do that bed confiscation thing! My D use to get between W and me but then she HATED covers. She'd kick them off of her and us as well. It was an interesting battle (one I miss of course).
Good to keep to yourself. If he happens to ask at some point, maybe not a bad idea to drop a few hints of the fun you & the boys had.
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
as for kids in bed, they seem to take the position of the letter X and spread out as much as possible...
You had a good day. Count it!
And there's definitely some gray areas in your h's mind for whatever reason. Not so black and white today...
keep it up...FOR YOU.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
H slept here again last night! He snuck in some time after 1am.... BUT I had locked and chained the door (because I wasn't expecting him), so he had to go through the garage door entrance- which is a pain in the butt- so he must have been motivated.
It's a comfort to know that he *chooses* to be here.... But I'm not going to mind read or ask questions.
Is it possible to get one of those brain projector things from Transformers?? It would be very helpful right now
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
CDs, Sias, 25: thanks so much for reminding me that this was in fact a good day! I'm glad Sias had a good night with your kids too: they really are a great distraction if you just let them be. I've been really trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter if the dishes didn't all get cleaned or if there are toys all over the floor- as long as my kids had a good time. (letting go of some control issues)
Ces, I will keep that memory for myself. Of course, I can't stop S6 from telling his dad about it- and that would probably be more hurtful than if I did it myself.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Ces, I will keep that memory for myself. Of course, I can't stop S6 from telling his dad about it- and that would probably be more hurtful than if I did it myself.
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I had a guitar teacher when I was 16 tell me pain is a very good teacher. Of course he was talking about toughening up my fingers but man, does that apply in soooo many places.
Very interesting developments. Stay on your path, you're doing great. How long before he deploys?
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
After breakfast, H went out to his truck to finish working on the stereo. I sat in the truck with him and helped as needed... Here's what I need help with: look at this conversation: H: So, I don't want to be a jerk, but you seem to be nicer to me lately. I'm just not used to it. M: How do you think I should be acting? H: Well, I would think that you would still be mad and upset with me. You're being nicer to me than you ever were when we were together. M: This is a bad thing? H: No, but I just want to make sure you aren't still trying or getting the wrong idea. M: I appreciate your concern. (jokingly) I can be a b!tch if you would prefer. H: No, haha. I mean you're doing everything right, it makes me...... (long pause).... worry that you're getting the wrong idea.
He asked me again about my trip to Florida, if I had it all planned out. I told him that I'm just going to 'wing it'- and he laughed and said that's totally not like me (I'm normally the one who plans, organizes every detail.)
What do I do with this information?! He obviously noticed that I'm in a better mood- but it's kinda backfiring on me. Is he still resolved in his decision?
I need help with the next steps!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I think the conversation is positive. He has noticed a differnece but do your best not to backslide. Consistant change + time= new you he can believe in.
It is confusing him which I would take to be a positive. You can't predict how strong his resolve is and also can't predict what will happen a week, a month, 3 months from now..etc.. Things and your R and your perspective will constantly change so just continue following your plan.
CDs, Sias, 25: thanks so much for reminding me that this was in fact a good day! I'm glad Sias had a good night with your kids too: they really are a great distraction if you just let them be. they are sometimes THE reason we get out of bed...so yeah, LET them be...
I've been really trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter if the dishes didn't all get cleaned or if there are toys all over the floor- as long as my kids had a good time. (letting go of some control issues)
Good...of course I've always believed housework was low on the totem pole after having kids and a job...if something was going to suffer,FIRST thing was the home. And when I worked full time, I got a housekeeper for at least 1or 2 a month. The uber gross stuff never got out of control and I'd had back surgery. So I figured if I was going to hurt myself again, and be an invalid for 3 months like post operatively, then at least the cause of it would NOT be clearning the toilet...Thank GOD...
Ces, I will keep that memory for myself. Of course, I can't stop S6 from telling his dad about it- and that would probably be more hurtful than if I did it myself.
well, more EFFECTIVE if it comes from s6 as long as it doesn't look like you motivated s6 to say it.
This IS a delicate time Purg. Do your best DBing b/c you only have a few months to go before he leaves.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
And I'm almost afraid to say this so there's no jinxing...but something tells me that there IS "trouble in paradise". I don't get that all is perfect with POS OW...
or her kids, b/c it seems as if something put a bit of a wrench in their "moving on" engine. Do you get that feeling?
Gee that's too bad...Not
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
