Got two kids I need to take shopping for their mother who is a WAW. Simple enough to do but what does the LBS get that significant other that doesn't show too much affection yet still show enough to let her know I thought of her?
M40 W33 S5 D3 Together 10 Married 6 Bomb 12/8/11 Filed 12/27/11 Moved out 1/2/12
REAL GIVING...something that touches HER heart is the best choice. Something without 'strings'. Something really thoughtful. Maybe some smaller stuff that the kids pick out as well.
So you wife has said, it's too little to late, but your whole marriage has been full of stressful situations. What are her complaints? What does she hope for in a marriage?
SOMETIMES, hanging with divorced women can help her see live isn't so great on the other side.
Enjoy your kids most of all, and let them fill your heart right now.
Random idea...not sure if your W likes perfume. I still remember being a kid 35+ years ago and my dad let my sister and I each pick out a bottle of perfume for our mom. I remember one of us picked a bright yellow bottle and one a glass purple one. I am pretty sure it was horrible perfume...it lasted forever...but might be cute to let your kids each pick something like that...then you pick out a bottle she really likes?
You could also ask your S what he thinks Mom would like. I bought my cheating husband a couple t-shirts and a hat because my D8 told me she thought he'd like a t-shirt.
I also agree that having them make her something would be really cute.
Hang in there...this is definitely a hard time.
M 44, H 46 D11, D9, D5 Married 12 years PA confirmed 9/2011 I filed 3/2012 H moved out 7/2012
You may want to be real careful here. In my sitch, my W has made it perfectly clear that she does not want a gift from me, not even a card. I guess it is just too much of a reminder of the pain, guilt or whatever she is feeling.
I had planned on creating something with the kids that I know she would love but have decided not to give it to her for fear she would interpret it as going against her request for no gifts.
So, not real clear on the dynamics of your particular sitch, but anything that even hints of pursuit might backfire.
Just be careful!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I went with the simple gift cards from the kids to go scrapbooking and I went a got her a giftcard to the Loft so she could buy herself whatever she wanted. Spent more than I should have but oh well.
M40 W33 S5 D3 Together 10 Married 6 Bomb 12/8/11 Filed 12/27/11 Moved out 1/2/12
She did not say anything to me about gifts but I figured I was better off getting her something than nothing. Of course she got me some gift cards from the kids but nothing for me. Good thing I bought stocking stuffers for her and myself or the kids would have really wondered why Santa didn't get mom and dad anything.
M40 W33 S5 D3 Together 10 Married 6 Bomb 12/8/11 Filed 12/27/11 Moved out 1/2/12
First, while you could be right... there's also the chance that your W isn't "out the door" as soon as the season is over. We encourage people to refrain from predicting the future, because:
+ no one can predict the future + no one can mind read + even when the most logical outcome seems likely... something else happens...
You are early in this and nothing is immediate except what you do.
Do not regret giving the gifts, but (as you notice your W didn't respond, even if you expected or hoped she would) have no expectations around your W's reaction.
In the mean time, enjoy the rest of the day and create the best experience you can for the kids for the next few days and once the dust settles from these days, it's time to get to work on what the future holds for you.
