Am divorced what to do want him back

[Ashyah]

Hello, I don't know if I could be posting since I am divorced.

It has been two years since it was final. Now we are on speaking terms but, he doesn't bring up relationship.

Now that the dust has settled I am having feelings for him all over again. I waited and prayed for two years since the divorce but, he has not shown interest. I know of a woman that was interested in him but, he didn't pay any mind to her. Now there is another that is doing a lot of favors for him and, my daughter. I think she is trying to gain his favor. I always have cared for him but, now that I know of this woman trying to get his attention I know that I do love him because it hurts.And, I am finding myself depressed about it.

Neither one of us is involved with anyone else. Could you that have been through this give me advice on how to get his attention?If I should even be trying.

[~ kd ~]

Hi Ashyah,

There are certainly examples of where spouses D and then get back together and even re-marry.

There are two other forums on this board for those who are D and are still working on themselves and supporting others in the same sitch called "Divorced but not done" and "Surviving the big D". Perhaps starting a topic in one of those might be helpful.

I am sure you still have feelings for your X and I'm sure that the holiday season is bringing those feelings to your mind.

If there is enough contact with your X, then simply DBing by showing your best to him (which is hopefully not an act, but consistent and real) will have him curious with you and perhaps peak his interest.

As with DB, though... I would suspect that any pursuing may not be the best idea. Trying to be attractive is different than being attractive by being a great person yourself.

[Ashyah]

Thanks, I wasn't aware there was a section for that.Happy holidays.

[~ kd ~]

And happy holidays to you, Ash...

Just know what you want, and if you really would like to see if there's might be a better relationship with you and your X in the future (how ever that might look), then get to know him again.

No pressure nor expectations from you.

Good luck!

[Ashyah]

Thanks my dear friend.

I know that I really love him now.

I will be careful and wait for him to take charge since I always did the leading. Now it is up to him and, I feel that for a reason. I will stay where I am at. If he approaches me for relationship talk I will have him come here. I will let him lead and see what happens. I will not pursue him but, be open to him.

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks my dear friend.

I know that I really love him now.

I will be careful and wait for him to take charge since I always did the leading. Now it is up to him and, I feel that for a reason. I will stay where I am at. If he approaches me for relationship talk I will have him come here. I will let him lead and see what happens. I will not pursue him but, be open to him.

how many threads do you have?

I posted to you elsewhere but I'll bother repeating myself here a little.

Read the Div Busting books (or Divorce Remedy) b/c they apply to your sitiuation in many ways

and you have to ask yourself AND answer this question

HOW WOULD MARRIAGE TO YOU TODAY

BE BETTER OR DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE?

if You have not changed, then why would your h be interested?

I'm only asking so you can DO something to get things going

and not just sit and wait. Life is short.