Time for a new thread - symbolically - time for a new life!
It's a really crazy time for me right now. Many life events are taking place for my children and it makes me very bittersweet because I always thought I'd be sharing these things with my husband. However it's not to be.
I am pushing myself to make the house beautiful for the holiday. My daughter's fiancee's father just passed away from cancer. So, I will be there for her. My son just turned 18 - my XH reached out at 9pm and asked son to meet him at burger king. Gave him a card with some money / a "Jesus Saves" necklace - completely out of character - and a cassette tape that XH had made articulating his memories and expressing that now that he is living a "clean" life he wants son to turn to him for advice,etc. Son came home and just sobbed. I told him how sorry I was for the pain he was going through - said that his dad was reaching out to him and that son could define the boundaries of any relationship he wanted. It was tough.
Anyway - work is a mess / life is a mess / holiday blues - but I'm going to make it through!
I am so thankful for this board and for the advice and support given. I don't know what I would have done without this place!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
You are right, it is a choice. Sometimes in order to make it through we have to choose to be happy each day.
We have to choose to find the good in our lives, to accept what is and look with hope to our future. Some days you make it, some you dont, but, that should always be your goal.
IB, my son was very angry with his dad for a long time. So angry that he got a huge tattoo on his arm representing a song about a captain who leaves his son.
I told my son that I understood that he was angry and upset, but to try to remember that his father was a good dad while he was growing up and that if he ever wants to talk to someone, I would arrange that.
And then I got out of the way. My xh continued to reach out again and again. Sometimes my son met him,sometimes he didnt.
I had nothing to do with their relationship. My xh would sometimes complain when our son wouldnt meet him. I told him that it was between them.
It took almost two years, but, slowly, my son began to see that his father wanted to be in his life. Eventually the anger dissipated. I know the hurt is still there at times, but, they now have a good relationship. I am so happy I chose to not do anything to hinder their relationship.
Your son will get through this. He will. I know it hurts you deeply to see him in pain. But there is nothing you can do to fix this.
