I have not checked in for a while. I do Thank you for all the advice. I thought I would journal and then give a few pointers to the people that are newer to this phase in life.
Anyway, I posted a few weeks back that H mentioned moving back home. I put the brakes on that, and we are back to status quo. We talk everyday and spend all weekends together and maybe a week night. H had an out of state afair, belch. I did everything wrong from the get go. Months later, I told him to leave. Now, he wont leave...blah blah blah
My advice for newer poster (I have divorcebusted 2x's now.) I am posting my thoughts in a random order
- don't loose yourself in the roller coaster - TIME IS YOUR FRIEND (6 months min) - When the coaster first starts, relax, again time is on your side - If another person is involved, it has NOTHING to do with you, so stop fighting it - take care of yourself (I lost 40lbs in 2 months and got very sick) - Make the changes for only YOU!!!! - BECAREFUL FOR WHAT YOU PRAY FOR, CRY FOR, BEG FOR AND WISH FOR, you will probaly get it. - Know that yor spouse hasn't changed or done the work you have - THINK- before the "bomb" ask yourself honestly: Did I like the person that I was married to? Did I think about divorce myself? Did I go into panic mode because I was the LBS?
-Don't settle because they say they are sorry and want to come back -Watch your WAS carefully. Mine is making HUGE changes based on the new me. When he says something that hurts my feelings, I ignore and ask him to repete himself. Gives him a second chance to rethink what he just said -Know if they never come back.....everything alawys works out -Know if they do come back, you might really not want them back - Know THEY said that YOU need change, and when you do, they have not
Good luck all~
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
- Know THEY said that YOU need change, and when you do, they have not
Quite right, but at least with what we have learned along the way, we may be able to have harmony and understanding, so past niggles can be resolved. I will settle for the person she is given the chance, it is a package deal after all, I love her for who she is, warts and all.
