I have a questions for this section since it seemed mostly appropriate.
Is anyone here just having a "healing" separation? and is that really possible?
I don't want to dredge up my whole story, but my wife and I currently live apart and have been for about a month. She initiated the move out (I'm the one who moved out) and said that she just needed some peace between us.
We probably have dinner as a family 2-3x a week and spend all weekend as a family. I usually stay the night on Saturday (at her request) but in separate beds.
At our last MC appt, we both said things have improved so much between us but she isn't ready to have me move back in. We plan on taking another 2 months before taking a real hard look at things.
She told me she is in no hurry to make any decisions on our future, and admits it's still very much up in the air. She also said she is also in no hurry to divorce.
For the most part, she hasn't rewritten our past and often times recalls the good times, says I'm a good person/father/husband and actually said the other day she likes being married to me, but on the other hand she has displayed some of the script including wanting to remain friends no matter what, said she loves me (no romantic feelings) and she always wants me in her life.
At this point she isn't focused on the D at all (she says it's a piece of a paper) she said what matters is our relationship.
I have been DBing, much more successfully this time, but I still have my own moments of sadness, regret (when I'm alone)
I guess I don't know what to make of things. Also, my W keeps saying that she needs to get those romantic feelings back, she wants to, but doesn't know if she will be able to. Can she?
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Couldn't figure out how to post here because of the proxy server I'm using, but... if you keep clicking enough buttons...
I honestly have no idea what a "healing separation" might be...
We all "need our alone time" now and then... and I'll admit that I'm a bit gun shy on this one... but...
You mention things are "good" between the two of you... you also mention your W brought it up, but you are the one that moved out... why? As a favour to your W, or were things really that volatile and you actually moved out for your own sanity and well being...?
Because the LBS has a tendency to sit in the mind frame of, "is the WAS just getting used to living alone, practicing for the final D...?"
But here's the thing... and you know the answer...
There's nothing you can do about anything or anyone, except... ???
Yes, you...
If this is a "healing" separation, then by God man...!!!! HEAL THYSELF!!!
And keep the road paved and smooth, and stop asking the R questions, even in the MC sessions... unless directed by the counselor... become that man that your W would be a fool to leave... and if she does... you'll probably have a few options...
