A couple days ago my H decided we would reconcile. Everything looked up. He was having anxiety though. IT has happened before and we used herbs to treat it and he was fine in a couple weeks. We knew this would be the case. My H went to work on Friday (a mistake in his state of mind). He texted me back and forth all day updating me on his mood. Everything seemed fine. Then 8pm rolled around. I was on my way home from a friends and the store with our kids. My MIL (the one who hates me and wants to get rid of me) screamed and yelled at me like a crazy person and told me she put my H on a plane because I was making him crazy and she feared for his life. We yelled at eachother and I did my best not to crash the car in my state of mind.
I raced to the airport to see if he was still there but he was not. He left with just the clothing on his back. He walked away from his job and left our only vehicle parked there (I was using my mom's car). He left the kids and I with NOTHING. I had $9 in my pocket and just got done spending the last $50 for groceries.
No one would talk to us or tell us where my H really was. I ended up in the hospital in a state of shock and panic. My kids are falling apart. I ended up putting out a missing persons report and he was found 20000 miles away at his mother's house. We have had no contact. I do not know if he just needed time away to get his head right or if he is gone for good. Everyone says I musy act like he is gone for good. I spent a day in bed and now I am trying to pull myself up and go on with life. I will not chase him and bug him. I ordered MIchelles books with a couple dollars I found in the bank (amazon!!!)
My only fear now is that his mother will keep interfereing. He did not want to leave his children and she talked him into it. I am also in fear that the OW he was having an EA will get down there with him. I can just pray and be strong I guess. The only other thing I am confused about and I hope the books explain is how I am going to win him back with 2000 miles between us and a MIL pushing him to get rid of me. She is already threatening me with lawyers.
If you want to get him back then the best thing you can do for him is to back off and let his anxiety over the whole issue die down and let him contact you. Stop contacting him until he is ready to call you and the evil MIL isn't so upset.
You said it yourself he does not want to leave his children and you know he wants to see you. Right now however, he is inclined to push away from everybody and emotionally shut down even though we want to reach out, he can't. When he is ready, it may take a bit of confidence, but he will contact you. When he does he will need a lot of praise and support for the littlest things to help him out of his shell. All you CAN do is support him and listen to him when that happens with NO pressure to get him back.
It sounds to me like he has some serious problems that local herbs just won't fix, or for long in most people and the pressure from this situation caused a nervous breakdown so severe that he feared for his life and his mother had to take him in. I should know I have those problems and just had a severe panic attack and depressive all last week. Even though my wife called and called worried sick over me, I just couldn't talk to her and spent days in bed having manic depressive states. Then around Saturday I reached out to let her know I was ok and she helped me feel better. All I needed was time to myself.
You express concerns for the other woman meeting him at a time like this, but I ask of you... Has she seen him at times like this? Normally these severly insecure times turn off other women but the nurturer in you grows stronger and loves him more than she ever could.
