D*mn it Telemark! I wanted to believe it also! I know that feeling, deep down inside you hope that they are being truthful, while the rational side of you knows different.
The question is, what are you going to do with this information?
She is making a huge, huge mistake by doing this and losing you. You are an amazing man who deserves only the best!
Your last post really made my heart sink. I wanted this to work for you, I really did.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
jb, thanks for your warm words. It was not a total surprise.
JS, I leave next Wednesday to see #1 son at Lackland AFB; that is keeping a smile on my face. It will be good to get away from everything for a few days and spend quality time with my 2 great kids. I'll also be spending the time with XW #1, her husband and mother but fortunately we all get along well. What is good for me? Right now I'd like to get through one day without having a meltdown.
You're such a sweetheart, DG. Thanks. I wanted this to work, too. I feel like a fool for having wanted to believe her when I know her track record of dishonesty, but I suppose that separates us LBS's from our WAS's...we still try to see the good in them when all they see are the flaws in us.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
I am so sorry for you as I am in the same place as my wife is having her "Friend" say with her and she also is telling me they are in separate rooms. I want to believe. But my head is telling me differently.
Me 38 Wife 39 Married 17 Together 25 D 12 S 9 Bomb 07/27/11 Separated 07/27/11 OM EA Poss PA 08/30/11 PA confirmed 10/23/11
Please don't feel like a fool. There is nothing foolish about wanting to believe the best in people. That is what a good person does and you are a great person.
You never answered my question, and maybe you don't know the answer yet, but what are you going to do with this information? Are you going to confront of keep it to yourself?
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
Hi, sweet Yankee friend. I'm sorry to read about this latest turn of events. My heart hurts for you.
Wonder why your wife continues to lie about the nature of her relationship with om? How does it benefit her to live a lie? Does she just not want you to think badly of her? Is she testing the waters of this new relationship but keeping you around in case things don't work out as planned? Does she not realize that her son is going to tell you the things he has?
I just don't get it.
Whatever it is, I'm so very sorry for your pain. DG is right; you are an amazing gentleman. I am confident great times are ahead for you.
Best wishes for safe travels and a wonderful visit with your sweet family. I hope you enjoy your time in Texas. The weather has been mild and beautiful. Eat lots of Mexican food and have a margarita on the Riverwalk!
TM, Sorry that you are being lied to. Don't feel like a fool.. I still get surprised by my w's actions... even though she has shown her cards before.
The sad truth is that sometimes we LBSers paint a beautiful picture of our spouse. Maybe this happens when we start looking at ourselves so much that we forget that we are only 50% of the equation. Maybe this happens so we can keep fighting the good fight.
Regardless, often our heart and our heads don't match up and it's hard to move forward with conflicting info.
Take some time and process the info given to you and then move forward with what is best for Telemark.
((()))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
Oh Telemark...I'm so sorry. i always read your posts and you sound like such a good man. My heart hurts for you, but we all believe those we love... It's human nature, and unfortunately, we're just human. I really will think about you this weekend. I'm not an advice giving person, just a supporter and someone who tries to give encouragement.
(((((((hugs))))))
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
Sorry for your pain, Tele. Hang in there and be strong. The fact that W is in a circus is still irrefutable. This too shall come crumbling down.
Focus on seeing your son. Focus on the bright side.
Hang tough.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Thanks, all of you, for your kind words. I am focusing on seeing my son this week so that helps keep my mind occupied. Went to dinner with good friends last night; they know what is going on and can only shake their heads in disbelief. They are also ready to play matchmakers, but I assured them that step is a long way off.
I think the part of this that stuns me is knowing the pain and hell we put our exes through, and what we went through with our own divorces. This situation is a carbon-copy of 11 years ago. I realize now that there was nothing I could have done differently to prevent this; she is wired this way. But the thought of her giving herself so easily to another man while still married to me is just hard to deal with.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
But the thought of her giving herself so easily to another man while still married to me is just hard to deal with.
I hear you on this. The very thought of sharing myself with another person while married used to seem like an imaginary brick wall going up -- I could not have ever imagined doing such a thing. It was more than wrong, it was sacrilege. So when my W began her A, it blew my mind. And still does. "How can she do this to me and still sleep at night?" I sometimes think.
Then again, I like to remember that people are funny creatures and are capable of doing some of the most unthinkable things. Even fundamentally good people have that capacity. It's not necessarily because they're evil or bad. They're just human, mixed-up and lost to the world. It is our basic nature.
Hang in there, Tele. Life will move on as it will, and you will get stronger as a result.
