I have ruined everything. My wife just filed for divorce. She has no interest in reconciling and says she is not in love with me anymore. She is a beautiful, brilliant, a great mom and stood by me for 16 years. We have three children; boys 13 and 11 and a girl 8. I cannot blame her for anything; I blame myself totally. I have been severely depressed for a long time and have not been a good husband. There was no abuse but my love waxed and waned and i was grumpy. While working on the other side of the country for the past 9 months I had an affair which she discovered. I immediately started counseling and have been discovering things and making progress in getting better. I have apologized every single day since she told me our marriage was over. I tell her that I will do everything possible to fix myself, our marriage and make her safe, secure, loved and happy. She won't engage in discussion and has said she will not trust me for 1000 years. I am trying to give her space and be strong for my children. I will die trying to fix things but i am lost and have sunk into a deeper depression.�
