especially 25. still above ground. very challenging. cry alot but rarely in front of boys. went back to work but only teach one class in the afternoon. coaching my vb team, practice alot. keeps mr focussed. miss her alot, letter she left for me gives me mixed emotions,
boys r a puzzle. oldest is robotic, still havent seen him cry or really show emotion. checking his back for usb port when he sleeps.
younest has cried and is going about buissiness as usual but has feelings of sickness at night. is often attached to my hip,
i had run in with om outside his work. i wanted to drop him with a dirty rugby tackle when i saw him. called him every name in the book. he went back inside where he works. i followed and continued my barrage . i mentioned that he liked to hit women. well here iam, what can u do with men u effing coward. he did nothing.
his mom picked him up as he is under house arrest. i followd him to her truck opened the door and told him to look at me. i told him he killed my wife. that he left my boys without a mother.
his mom started screaming at me. he said nothing but glared at me. effing coward that he is. took everything i had not to feed him his nuts but i didnt touch him.
got call from police warning mne to stay away. i will but i also know if i didnt have my boys, i would b in jail and he would b in the hospital if not worse. i will post again.
thanks for all the support.
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
another long road for you... take care of yourself and your boys... give them the opportunity to state any emotions they have... they will grieve and get past in their own unique ways...
manage that anger as productively as possible... still remains a matter of being strong for your kids... we know small towns and people will talk and you don't need the kids hearing stuff at school or on the street...
you might hold that anger for a life time... or not... and that's OK... but letting it out is a good thing... and done in good ways is great...
Hi Nine, Just here to give you my invisible support and cyber hug. You might want to consider grief counselling for your family Nine.
I can't imagine how you all feel right now.
((((Nine))))
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Nine, I am very glad you posted here again. We have empathy for you. I know that did not need to be said..still.
I have known several that stoically packed away their grief. I was one. At the time the culture we were in rewarded this. Doing so was not constructive.
Your oldest may not be comfortable expressing it yet it needs expression. He needs to know his expression is not adding to anyone’s burden. That it is a process. That it is healthy. That it feels bad like he is reliving the loss and that doing so helps to relieve it.
I agree counseling, everyone.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I'm glad you checked in. Hope you continue to hang in there. Be strong for your boys. I agree with the others - some counseling for everyone would be beneficial.
You need to get outside help. It's a major healing process. Your anger is understandable, just reach out and do the right thing. Horrible sitch man, just do everything you can to benefit all of your family.
Thank you for coming back and posting. I've been thinking about you and your boys and how you're all doing.
We don't have to tell you about the complex and deep emotions that are occurring for all of you. Some of you may be keeping a tight lid on them for fear of how it will affect the others. It's possible your boys may fear you'll leave them, too.
My heart goes out to all of you. This is a tough thing to deal with and getting help in coping will benefit you all.
You are an extraordinary man and father. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi Nine I hope things are going reasonably well with you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
