I was the one wanting out years ago. It was me that used D as a warning shot and threat. Furthermore, I was the one quitting my M not my W.
So, do I blame her? H-e-l-l no. These actions belong to me and are my fixing alone. I was the one who wanted out first. All out of anger and stupidity.
I think sandi2 said it best when it may be too late to wake up and fix things when the other spouse mentions, wants and files for D.
I just hope not it my case. Any advice?
M 38 W 50 S 9, D 6 T 12 M 10 W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront W's 2nd EA 6/2010 Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010 MC 2/2011 - 3/2011 W bomb dropped 4/2011 Nothing filed or done
Not really any advice, but I do understand how you feel. I was that way earlier in my M as well, only I've realized too late that it wasn't what I wanted at all.
I'm sorry.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
Mac and DG I did the same thing always threatening or daring her to get a D until she met with a lawyer last month. I did the same out of anger, jealousy and stupidity. Now I am scared and confused. I also hope is not too late for us. I will say to keep working on yourself be consistent in making the best YOU. Have hope, even though I know how heard it is to do. Make the changes for you. You can't tell her you are changing you must show her with actions, that is what some with more experience are telling me to do. God bless.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I just finished a wonderful day with my family. We spent the day together at a local theme park and enjoyed ourselves.
Just read something I wanted to share. My Chinese zodiac sign is Ox and so is my W's. I guess that can explain our stubbornness. But here is the quote dealing with family/M - Learn to speak peace rather than justice.
It goes along with what DBing is about.
M 38 W 50 S 9, D 6 T 12 M 10 W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront W's 2nd EA 6/2010 Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010 MC 2/2011 - 3/2011 W bomb dropped 4/2011 Nothing filed or done
Well. We just spent another wonderful day together.
Funny thing happened, she talked to me at one point like I was someone else. She made reference to something that happens to our children while I was working a second job. "There was something that happened while R (my name) wasn't home. S did this and then both D and S almost got really hurt when something fell in them."
I just sat quietly and did not respond but what do I make of talking about me in the third person? She was talking about me but as if I were someone else.
Before leaving the house tonight, we hugged and she said we have had a wonderful weekend. I agreeed with her and said goodnight.
M 38 W 50 S 9, D 6 T 12 M 10 W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront W's 2nd EA 6/2010 Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010 MC 2/2011 - 3/2011 W bomb dropped 4/2011 Nothing filed or done
Either she was crazy distracted, or something else is going on... and you don't mention that she realized it or acknowledge it after the fact... maybe just that WAS / MLC fog...
