The Final Chapter

[Telemark]

Last thread:

The next chapter...

Thank you, all of you, for your kind and heartfelt replies in my last thread. I read them this morning - at 4:30 AM - and felt good about how things were handled. I'm still in shock and numb, but not as much.


25yearsmlc...what can I say? It has all the makings of a bad sitcom. Here are a few more facts:

OM, OM's mother and W have known each other since W's high school days, but had lost touch with each other until W contacted OM on FB last October.

OM, OM's mother and W have seen each other only once since then (for 2 days) when W visited them this past February.

OM and OM's mother currently live together in Colorado. OM's mother has many health problems, including the beginning stages of Parkinson's, which is tragic and I do feel for her. From what I have gleaned, she is a sweet woman.

OM has temporary work in Colorado as a welder/sheet metal fabricator and will join W and his mother when that is completed.

OM likes to drink. A lot. And party. A lot.

Through conversations with SS21's father and stepmother, SS21 has not adjusted well to W's new living arrangement. Because one of the traits of autism is a lack of social skills and interaction, SS21 will not adjust well to 2 new people in W's house, especially another male sleeping with Mom.

Sounds like a boatload of fun to me...

I am relieved. I am at peace with this. I am also concerned about W. She has lost touch with reality and is trying to live in some strange world. This living situation she is creating is not going to end well. I want her to be happy and content with herself, but she refuses to work on her own issues ("nothing wrong with me; it's the rest of you who are crazy").

This site has been a lifeboat for me. I'm going to continue to post as this plays out to the end, and offer what I can to others here. The lessons I've learned from you have been invaluable; hopefully I can pass some of that wisdom to others who are hurting.

[Telemark]

E-mail I sent to W this morning:

Dear (W),

I apologize for any anger I exhibited during our phone conversations yesterday. As you can imagine, the news took me by complete surprise and I am still numb and in shock over all of this.

I will box up as much of your belongings as I can and leave them in the office. I will not pressure you to remove them, but I hope that you get everything out within the next several weeks.

Please let me know when you make an appointment with mediation. They will want to know what agreements we have reached regarding the house, any joint accounts, property, etc. We can discuss these prior to meeting the mediator or wait until then. I am in no position to pay you alimony or half of my 401K. There probably is no equity in the house given the condition it is in and the depressed real estate market.

I will contact (mortgage company) to find out what has to happen to remove your name from the mortgage and the deed.

There is so much I want to say, but it would be pointless in light of what has happened. I hope you find your happiness.

(Telemark)


*big sigh*

[~¤DG¤~]

I was furious when I read the update in your last thread.
No offense, but your W is acting like an idiot.
You are such an amazing man, you have been trying so hard. I do know that you will come out of this stronger and that you can say you did everything that you could.

Ugh...I wish there was something I could say or do to make this not hurt for you!

It is truly your W's loss. Unfortunately she won't realize it until it's too late.

[Telemark]

"Ugh...I wish there was something I could say or do to make this not hurt for you!"

"You are such an amazing man, you have been trying so hard. I do know that you will come out of this stronger and that you can say you did everything that you could."

This works pretty well for me, DG. Thanks so much.

[LearningPatience]

Sorry you've been sukced into a bad soap opera TM. I thought the email was pretty good, mostly business with a bit of compassion.

I've heard (at least in MLC cases) that the WAS has to hit bottom before any kind of R healing can begin. Your W looks like she's taking an express elevator down; maybe this will shake her up a bit.

[Telemark]

Thanks, LP. You just can't make this stuff up, can you?

[any chance?]

Tele:
Heart goes out to you, my friend. Keep your head up, as you have taken the high road throughout

She has lost touch with reality and is trying to live in some strange world.

This statement is so true. Nothing she is doing makes sense, but she is on her own journey and will eventually recognize the folly of her ways. Be strong.

[Telemark]

Thanks, AC. And how are you holding up?

[Telemark]

Journaling...

Strangely calm. W and I have e-mailed back and forth about household stuff. I found a mediator and sent the link to her. She still adamantly denies any romantic connection with the OM and claims he will have his own bedroom while she shares one with SS21.

Uh-huh. And I'm the greatest swordsman in France...

Received an e-mail about an hour ago from my friend's sister (yes, she's just a little younger than I am, so don't read anything into that) inviting me to go out for a drink. She's been divorced and just wants to have a nice evening with someone and chat.

Hoo boy...now what?

[~¤DG¤~]

Well, if she's just a friend I say go for it. You know your not in any place to be dating and it might be good for you to talk with someone who has been there.

I've been thinking about you all morning, wondering how your doing.