Seperated and confused

[Streamline]

Well my wife moved out about three months ago. suposedly seperating so we can work on things but she said she doesnt miss me one bit. We went to a supposed marriage counselor and she told her she need to be vulnerable to me and my flipped out and said its over I filing for a divorce. She really seems like she hates me.

as of to day still has not filed for a divorce.

So a few weeks ago I reached out to her and told her we have two children and need to communicate better for their well being she agreed. We talked and got along great we went on a family camping vacation and she stayed in our camper and I drove back to our cabin every night because she didn't want me to stay with her and the kids. Well after that I took my kids camping and for the next four days. I spoke with her a few weeks after that and she said that was the best vacation we ever took together and my kids told her that our vacation was the best they have ever been on.


So she then told me she isn't in love with me anymore and will never fall in love with me again , but in the same sentence she said "I like more now then I have in the past three years" and things went well for a week and then I started going back to church and being happy with my life changes and all of the sudden she is flipping out wanting to know what i'm doing with our house etc. she wants to move to her own house ( lives with her mom and dad) so now she is very angry and short with me. This was her decision to leave and move in with her parents.

so I offered her to move back home and told her the door will always be open and she said no way that's not what I want, but she said she has no plan. told me to move on with my life and now Is this a normal reaction or am I really confusing her by working on my issues and finding resolutions to them.

Also said shes scared I will revert back to my old self which I understand I need to prove it for awhile but she really belives.

[betterman77]

Streamline,
I'm sorry you find yourself here. I know that you are in pain and this will probably be the hardest thing you will go through in life but it is a great place for advice and support so keep posting.

If you haven't already done so get a copy of DR and don't share it with your W. It will be your playbook moving forward.

Maybe you can provide a little more information. What are your W's issues regarding you and the M?

Where are your kids staying and is there a visitation schedule in place?

You may want to move your post into newcomers. There are a lot of wise people over there that can offer much better advice than I can at this point.

Is this a normal reaction or am I really confusing her by working on my issues and finding resolutions to them.

I too thought this at first but what I quickly learned is that working and finding resolutions to your issues are to become a better Streamline not only for yourself but for your children as well. If you do this for the sole purpose of getting your W back then eventually those changes won't stick.

So she then told me she isn't in love with me anymore and will never fall in love with me again , but in the same sentence she said "I like more now then I have in the past three years" and things went well for a week and then I started going back to church and being happy with my life changes and all of the sudden she is flipping out wanting to know what i'm doing with our house etc. she wants to move to her own house ( lives with her mom and dad) so now she is very angry and short with me.

Welcome to the rollercoaster that none of us want to be on. I have been up, down and twisted so many times that I wanted to throw up. For my own sanity I have gotten off the ride and embrace the positive interaction I now have with my WAW and let the negative interaction roll off my back. I'm actually pretty impressed with myself that I am now able to do this.

Keep your head held high. You may think that this is the end of the world but it is not. Keep the focus on you and the kids and you will come out of this ok.

I will pray for you.