My mood is not due to my wife, but my own anxiety and frustration with my sitch. I am feeling anxiety today thinking about the future of our R. I know I should go out and exercise tonight, I was thinking I might get on the bike and just ride. My W is happy that I have been able to sell some of the toys from her business. She offered to me that I could keep $10.00 for my time and effort, I responded no thanks. I don't know why but it upset me that she offered (via text). I will make sure not to make any mention of it when she gets home from work tonight. I am in touch with her via text to keep on top of what she wants sold and for how much. I am trying to keep my responses as short as possible. I have got a lot of chores done today, 2 loads of laundry, grass mowed, kids fed, house vacuumed, toys sold, dishes done, and the most tiring of all, getting the kids to clean their rooms.
I do feel like I made some headway last week in GAL. And my W did wonder as to my late whereabouts, so, that's good, and I really did enjoy the time out too.
Now does anyone have any suggestions on keeping the changes going and keeping a PMA?
What other activities could I do to show her that I have moved on?
Any tips for detaching?
Johnnie
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
The PMA is so hard sometimes. I live with my W - while she's having an A... and for me it's a matter of constant acting as if and waiting for the feelings to catch up to the behavior. If i'm really busy it's better --- but this stupid holiday weekend has messed me up with that.
As if As if As if!!!!
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
What other activities could I do to show her that I have moved on?
Any tips for detaching?
Quit trying to show her. No offense, but F her. Do what makes Johnnie happy. Pretend she passed away and what you would do with out her. Seriously, be the new and improved you Johnnie. If she likes what you become she will come around.
Detaching is moving on with your happiness and not basing your existence off her. Let go of her decision and move forward with YOUR life. With or without her Johnnie has to be happy too.
My w just sent me a text indicating that she wants to take the kids away to her parents (8 hours drive away) for thanksgiving. They will be gone for at least 4 days. I responded by asking her if plans would include or exclude me. I don't want my kids gone on every holiday as my wife runs away from spending quality time as a family. My initial response is to say that, I want the kids home for thanksgiving and that, if she wanted to go on her own, she could do that, or, she could stay here and we could enjoy the time together.
Some days I am really good at being detached from her... Today, I'm not. Roller coaster, go away. I have really been sticking to the list of dos and donts... I am doing my best to keep my 180s on track too. I did lose my patience with my youngest daughter on Monday when I caught her lying to us twice. My w indicated that she understood why I was upset with our d, but that it was too loud. I know that she knows that I have been working hard on staying even keel, because she said the other night when I asked her for her thoughts on how I handled the sitch with daughter, that everyone loses thier patience from time to time... I know that's true, and I also know that I am 100% better than I used to be,, It STILL feels like a setback though.
My wife has been working hard at her new job, I thought she would have shown some signs of improvement though...
I guess what I need advice on is besides GAL, what else can I do to stay with this program?
What other things could I be doing to spark the flame for her?
I want to tell her that if she would take the energy that she puts into her EA, and put that into our marriage, we could be in a different place. I can't help but think of the kids through all of this. I know that my youngest daughters acting out behaviors are a result of the tension between me and my W.
I need strength to carry on... I am losing my strength though.
Advice please...
Johnnie
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
